The Machine
by The Lighthouse
Summary: There is what people refer to as a reality call. Courtney has had two so far. But she got past it, convinced herself those feelings weren't real. On her third one, she finally listened. DxC. Set during TDA. Slight AU; what if…? story DISCONTINUED
1. Musings and a Call

Here I present you my version of the end of TDA, the only way that would make me happy if Beth were to win, like I'm hearing she will ¬¬.

I thought of this after episode episode 23, and then Top Dog came in and dashed all my hopes and dreams ¬¬. So **this will likely become an AU of the end of TDA beginning after episode 23, 2008: A Space Owen :)**

First part was inspired by 's fic 'Missing Him'.

* * *

**~The Machine~**

**# ****Chapter 1:** Musings and a Call **#**

One night, Courtney sat peacefully on her top bunk bed, quietly musing to herself.

She knew she should be trying to sleep, that was the logical thing to do; but tonight her thoughts just would not leave her alone.

Beth's loud snoring didn't help that much either. Who would want to sleep through that, let alone be able to?

At least it was better than half an hour ago.

The other brunette had cried herself to sleep that night. Courtney knew not the cause. Ever since she had broken off their alliance, she had no reason to care. Still she wondered…

Maybe she missed Lindsay? Or maybe it was her latest love interest, Harold, who had just been voted off hours ago? Or maybe her made-up boyfriend, whom she had allegedly just broken up with? Maybe she missed her family…

Whatever the reason, Beth was now fast asleep, with her mouth hanging open due to her headgear, and her pillow all soggy and gross from both tears and spit.

The CIT had to restrain herself not to scoff at the sight. She just couldn't bring herself to sympathize with Beth. This was the 21st century, a girl should be able to get by without her 'BFF' or a boy at her side and not be reduced to a sobbing mess in the process.

And she wasn't talking without experience either—oh no, she _had_ been there. _Please_, her so-called boyfriend had cheated on her with the resident goth girl!

Okay, so he hadn't actually _cheated_ (she was convinced he had _wanted_ to though!), but the fact remained— _she_ had not bawled like a baby when she found out.

And pherhaps the only thing that kept her from going up to Beth right now and shaking her awake, to tell her she had no right to sob for thirty minutes when _she_ had suffered real heartbreak with a _real_ boyfriend and had not shed a single tear…

…was that maybe she wasn't so proud about that fact.

Let's face it. What kind of girlfriend would get proof that their boyfriend was cheating on them and take it sitting down? Things like these made her doubt that she had ever truly felt something towards him.

Now, it's not like she was trying to pretend she never cried in her life. She had broken down a few times when she thought she didn't deserve to stay in the competition; she had had her moments of weakness in which she doubted everything about herself.

And she just found it… aloof… that she wouldn't cry about this.

She felt detached from the other girls, who cried about their boyfriends all the time, so much that they made her wonder if they liked it?

Courtney shook her head to clear it from the potentially depressive thoughts. She had to stay focused, objective, and one of the keys to victory was being optimistic; negativity never did get anyone anywhere.

This was probably just the darkness of the trailer, the solitude now that there were only two occupants, the moonlight filtering from the windows that brought out her melancholy.

But whatever the reason, she could already see that her mood for the night was unchangeable. She found herself thinking back, to before she got back on the show, before all of this started.

* * *

Courtney sat motionless on her seat on the peanut gallery, as the rest of the ex-campers scrambled around. She had taken a seat next to Tyler, the guy that wouldn't admit he sucked at sports, and to her left she had the 'Wonder Twins'.

Courtney scoffed lightly as she fought to control her temper. As if it wasn't enough that she wasn't on the show, she now had to take being counted among the other losers in a friggin' talk show.

As the camera crew was preparing to start rolling, she felt her PDA vibrate on her pocket. She quickly pulled it out, hoping it was one of her lawyers with news on the lawsuit.

The caller ID read, '_Dad_' instead.

Courtney inwardly cringed at the name. She had no idea why it was stored as '_Dad'_ when she couldn't remember the last time she'd call her father that.

She quickly put the device to her ear. "Hello, Michael."

"_Hello honey_," the voice on the other end said catiously, as if a wrong move would cause her imminent wrath. "_How're things going down there?_"

"Oh, super," she responded, voice dripping venom. "My pathetic lawyers still haven't got me on the show—but you must already know that, am I right?"

"_I actually wanted to talk to you about that_," the man said, going straight to business. "_Your mother and I have been talking and…_" Courtney rolled her eyes knowingly. Even though her parents were divorced, they still mantained a decently good relationship. _"…we'd like it very much if you considered withdrawing the lawsuit_."

There was hesitation in Michael's tone. Courtney could just imagine him running a hand through his blond hair worriedly. State attorney Michael Johann Bale was weary of his teenage daughter's reaction.

"I'm not gonna withdraw the lawsuit," she said strongly, knowing a firm tone alone would help her convince him.

"_Be reasonable, dear_," Michael said hopelessly. "_Things like these cost money_."

Courtney saw red. _So much for keeping her cool_. "You'd have a say in this if you were paying for this, but you're not! _I'm_ paying for everything!" It was true; Courtney had made a deal with her lawyers that if they got her back on the show, and she won, she would give them 50% of the prize money. She didn't care about it anyway; she just wanted to win.

"All _you_ had to do was find me some decent lawyers!" she continued. "But apparently you can't even do that!" Courtney was concious of Tyler squirming away from her pissed off presence, and Sadie and Katie glaning at her in worry.

"_I got you the best lawyers of the state_!" Michael replied, getting angry as well. _So much for a professional, adult conversation_.

"But not the best in America!" she retorted. "You know who _does_ have the best lawyers in America? _Chris_! Because we still haven't beat him! And we never will with those… those _toy_ _lawyers_ you got me! Don't think I don't know what I'm talking about!"

"_That is not my fault, Courtney_!" Michael replied, and Courtney could see him taking a hand to his chest in her mind. The occasions in which she saw her father were few and far in between, but she still knew all of his gestures by heart.

There was a pause, after which Michael's tone was soft again. "_Kitten, if you think you can't win the lawsuit, why don't you just call it off?_"

Courtney frowned, reducing her eyes to two onyx slits.

Call off the lawsuit? Her immediate reaction was _no_, not in a million years. She couldn't go through that humilliation. Just imagine… Chris would _win_, and all the other ex-contestants that had constantly told her she would never get back on the show, would think they were actually _right_.

Besides, she actually _wanted_ to get back on the show. She wanted to _compete_ again. Playa de Losers was slowly killing her, there was almost nothing she could do but studying for her LSAT's and planning her victorious return.

And of course, listening to her father was tricky business. She didn't approve of many things he had done in his life, like when he turned down that job offer because it meant moving the family to another state, or when he declined that big promotion in order to spend more time at home; and of course, when he decided he no longer loved her mom and picked up his stuff to disappear from their lives for the next six years.

Courtney denounced strongly and in a loud voice everything that bothered her or felt wrong, and that included her own family.

She wouldn't have minded at all moving from Arizona to Oklahoma in favor of his job; in fact, she was almost happy because it meant being a tad closer to the East Coast and the Ivy League. She didn't mind at all changing schools –she could always make new friends-, unlike her siblings who had made a fuss about it.

She herself would have personally pushed him to accept that promotion, that meant a higher status and a bigger pay, hadn't she been so young and unheard at the time.

…And of course, she would've given anything for him not to walk out on her and her family.

But, that was past. Michael had made a big mistake nine years ago, a mistake that had caused him to fall from her graces, and lose all of her respect.

Now, father issues aside, was it really worth to keep a lawsuit she couldn't win? Just because she didn't want to admit she couldn't do it?

The room got hotter for Courtney as she tried to come to a decision. She absent-mindedly noticed the cameras were now going through each of the ex-contestants.

_I want to go back, if anything just to punch Gwen's light out for having her goth girl hooks all over Duncan_.

Her anger came back in full force at this thought. She frowned determinedly, and then she presented her ultimatum.

"We are gonna sue the pants off this show, Michael!" she declared. "There's nothing you can do to stop it!"

Then she hung up.

She buried her PDA in her back pocket and leaned back crossing her arms over her chest, flustered.

And _that_ was another _great_ _conversation_ with Daddy.

Courtney rubbed her temples.

_Hn. Goth girl hooks. I've got to remember to say that to her face sometime._

_

* * *

_

So up to now, you get a scene from the present, and then Courtney has a big flashback, in which we start seeing the story from the begining, 'kay?

And yes, I took my liberties with 'Michael'. She never did confirm he was her lawyer, that I know of. (Correct me if I'm wrong.)

Also, tell me if I abused the _italics_ too much.

_~The Lighthouse_


	2. An Outburst and a Conviction

**Well, damn. I forgot to credit after all .. **_**Missing Him**_**, the fic that the first part of mine is inspired on, belongs to **_**screwtherulesihavmoney**_**.**

Review time!

_Concave Patterns_: Yeah, though now I'm doubting anyone will win. How else would Total Drama, The Musical come to be? :/ Anyway we'll find out in a few hours (omg!).

_E-D-Songy-12_: Thanks! I will! :)

_Jhinra_: Oh, there's nothing wrong with psychoanalyzing. I do it all the time! And thank you, that's exactly what I'm trying to do. Dig up the reasons why she turned into a bitch. =D

* * *

**~The Machine~**

**# ****Chapter 2:** An Outburst and a Conviction **#**

Two days later, the Playa de Losers residents were preparing for a second Aftermath. Geoff and Bridgette were on a reunion with the producers, and Courtney, now more desperate than ever to get on the show, was also preparing to face Gwen for the first time.

When Bridgette came back, she found Courtney and pulled her aside.

"Courtney, I have something to tell you, okay?" the blonde said, gripping her arm.

"What is it, Bridge? I'm busy," Courtney let herself be led away by the blonde surfer as she finished typing a reminder of her train of thought in her PDA.

"Tonight in the Aftermath, you may see a clip…" she bit her lip before continuing. "that… you may not like. But remember that things are not always what they seem to be, okay?"

Courtney looked at her friend skeptically. "Bridgette, you're talking gibberish. What are you trying to say?"

Her blonde friend looked around in the manner of a person who was divulging something she shouldn't be. "Just- just remember that! Okay?"

Courtney didn't get the situation. She didn't like not getting stuff.

"Oh, and a letter arrived for you," Bridgette squeezed a piece of paper into her hands, and disappeared off to the studio.

Courtney stared after her, wondering what would be awaiting for her in the Aftermath. She suspected it had to do with Duncan; Bridgette had that same look on her eyes as whenever they talked about him and Gwen.

The surfer had spectacularly taken Courtney's side in the conflict since day one, believing Courtney when she told her it was Gwen who was making advances on Duncan, and that Trent, Courtney and even Duncan to some degree, were innocent.

Bridgette was one to stand up for her friends through everything, but she was also one to take sides. And although the majority of the Playa de Losers residents were on Team Trent, not many of them liked Courtney, and anybody rarely defended her.

And while it was true that Courtney alone was like a whole army in one person, Bridgette still felt that _someone_ needed to look out for her.

Courtney shook these thoughts and concentrated on the letter on her hands. It was from Michael.

It read:

'_Baby girl:_ (Courtney cringed at this)

_You won't be happy until you get on that show, isn't that right?_

_Tell you what—I'll get you a new lawyer and we'll give it another try. I will be paying this time—lawyers work better when they can see cash, rather than just the promise of it._

_Give me a call._

_-Dad_

Courtney wondered briefly on his sudden change of heart, before she reached the end of the letter and her mind was occupied with another thought…

Bastard insisted on her calling him _dad_! He probably didn't take her seriously when she told him she would never refer to him by anything other than Michael again. He had never taken her seriously.

Courtney cleared her raging feelings to concentrate on the dilemma at hand.

Should she take up on his offer? She really did want to win the lawsuit, and he was right, lawyers did work better when they had the fruit of their efforts on eyesight…

On the other hand, it was painfully obvious that Michael was trying to buy her _yet again_, and accepting his offer would mean a serious blow to her pride, not to mention a battle lost that she would never live down.

Courtney still pondered on this as she entered the Aftermath studio, and let herself fall on a seat exhaustedly. _Ooh, what to do, what to do?_

_Ugh_. No time now. She had to focus on the show, on Gwen and on finding out what Bridgette was talking about.

She had a hard time keeping quiet, especially after Gwen came out, but she pulled through. After all, her lawyer had advised her not to comment on the state of her lawsuit, and useless as said lawyer might be, she was never one to go against a legal procedure.

She finally exploded when Gwen brought up Duncan. She was overcome by anger at the goth still claiming vehemently thet were only friends, when it was so _obvious_ they were _more_.

As for when Gwen tried to tell her he was only interested in her, as if she was going to buy that—as if she believed a word either Gwen _or_ Duncan said to her anymore.

And after that, when Geoff presented that first part of the never before seen tape, she felt relieved. That maybe, things weren't as bad as she had thought, and for the first time in her life, she was willing to admit she might had overreacted.

And then, _it_ came on.

The clip Bridgette had been talking about, no doubt. If Courtney's gut feeling wasn't enough then the intense gaze her blonde friend was directing at her when the clip ended confirmed it. **(1)**

Courtney unlocked her eyes from Bridgette's guilty ones and looked back at the giant screen, where her worst nightmare was displayed for the whole world to see.

Geoff was having the time of his life. "Only one centimeter between their lips…" Geoff was absolutely _right_! That was _totally_ unacceptable!

Courtney directed a murderous glare towards Gwen, the girl who had just been fooling around with her boyfriend on the giant screen. The goth actually looked frightened for a second –her scary face was _scary_, even more so when she was mad- before changing her expression.

Courtney still wasn't thinking straight when she sprung up from her seat. She couldn't quite remember what she had said then, just that she was angry and she was yelling. She was only concious of her anger taking the best of her as she stormed off the stage.

At some point she must have pulled out her PDA and dialed her lawyer's number, because soon she was bombarding the mumbling man with questions on how the lawsuit was going.

After hearing the exact same answers as two and five and ten days ago, she hung up.

And then, reality slowly set in.

The first thing she noticed was that she was in the darkness.

She had walked out of the studio and on to the dock, where there was no lighting. She had been yelling on her phone in complete darkness, and when she hung up, she was left in silence.

As soon as she became used to her new surroundings, Courtney started to wonder what to do now.

She knew the show would go on for quite a while, so she might as well head back to her room, and finish that law book she needed to read in order to make sure her lawyers were getting everything right. Courtney turned on her heel, in direction of the bedrooms.

Any onlooker would only see a fierce-looking girl walking with long, determined strides. But inside Courtney was dealing with raging feelings and a million thoughts racing back and forth in her head.

If there was something Courtney couldn't handle, it was feeling helpless.

She had never before in her life been in a situation in which she was forced to watch from the side-lines for so long. She absolutely could not wait to get a hold of Duncan and give him a piece of her mind.

Nobody cheated on her. Nobody.

Nobody suddenly decided to transfer their affections to another girl without a previous agreement, or at least a notion.

Her pace became quicker, and she felt ten times more determined to _get_ on that show.

But once she got to her room, she found she couldn't focus on the book. Her mind kept wandering off to Gwen with Duncan, and the desire to get back on the show that, ironically enough, was keeping her from doing just that.

* * *

Bridgette walked down the hall long after the Aftermath ended. After a long, tedious, and completely useless talk with Geoff, she still had one last thing to do; checking on Courtney.

She knocked on her friend's door, and was met with a screech of, "I'm busy!"

"Courtney, it's me," Bridgette said, not at all fazed by the response.

After a second, the blonde heard movement inside the room, and then the door was opened. "Come in," Courtney said with a slight frown, glaring at something in the distance. Bridgette took no mind in the expression, knowing she wasn't upset with her, if at all; that just seemed to be her default expression as of late.

"Are you okay?" the blonde asked, sitting down on the bed, among many stacks of paper and a few books, most of which were opened on a particular page. Loose papers seemed randomly scattered around, but Bridgette knew everything must have its specific place and purpose, and sat lightly to avoid disturbing the chaotic order and getting yelled at by an angry CIT.

"Oh, just dandy," Courtney rolled her eyes, sitting next to her and picking up one of the books. "Try suing a reality TV show with completely worthless lawyers. I have to do all the work myself."

Bridgette nodded. "Do you want to talk about what happened on the show?" she asked patiently.

Courtney turned to look Bridgette in the eye, for the first time giving her her full attention. "If I want to talk about it?" she repeated in a murderous tone. "Of _course_ I want to talk about it! I want to rant forever about that no-good, two-timing _bastard_ and that **worthless, boyfriend-stealing **_**goth**_** witch!!**" she yelled in murderous rage as she stood up suddenly, sending papers flying everywhere. Then, as soon as she had exploded, she calmed down again. "But– my time is better spent planning how to get back on the show. And tell him myself."

Bridgette took a moment to regain her composure and for her eyes to return to its normal size. Normally it would be the place of the best friend to chastise and talk down the guy that had made their friend suffer, but Courtney was already doing that herself.

…In truth, she was taking it better than she had expected.

"Well, I'm sorry for showing that clip," she said instead, tucking a lock of blonde hair behind her ear.

"It wasn't you, it was Geoff," Courtney pointed out, going back to the book.

"Yeah, but I knew about it, I should've stopped him" Bridgette was so surprised at the lack of response from Courtney, that she failed to realize she was digging her own grave.

"You could hardly do anything if you tried." Courtney dismissed her just as absently as before. "Fame's so up in his head he probably wouldn't have even listened to you. No offense," she added.

"None taken, it's true." Bridgette frowned. "I tried talking to him after the show, you know."

"How'd that go?"

"It didn't do shit."

Courtney looked up, surprised at her friend's unusual outburst. "Bridge!" she mock-scolded.

The blonde giggled alongside with her, until she realized she should be steering the conversation towards _her_.

"So, Courtney. Aren't you even a little… sad?" Bridgette tried.

Courtney rolled her eyes dismissively. "Oh, please. As mad as I am with her, Gwen did me a _favor_. If he didn't cheat on me now, it'd be later. Now I don't have to worry about him distracting me from the competition," she finished with a pleasant smile. "Especially when I'm this close to getting back."

"Oh, that's right, when's the big trial?"

"In two days." Courtney said happily, with what Bridgette was sure was her first honest smile of the night.

The brunette then went back to reading. Bridgette leaned back on her arms and they stayed in silence for a few moments, the blonde thinking quietly to herself.

After a while, Bridgette broke the silence, sharing a thought she'd had some time ago. "Just for the record, I don't think Duncan likes Gwen."

"I disagree. They obviously have the hots for each other," Courtney said in a eerily calm way.

"But, I mean, why would he like her? It's not like she's anything special," Bridgette said with an almost casual maliciousness.

"Beats _me_," Courtney said scornfully. "But he _does_."

The blonde turned to her friend. "How can you be so sure?"

"I already worked it out," Courtney took a stack of paper out of the dozens covering her bed and handed it to Bridgette.

Bridgette took it and read:

**Courtney's Detailed Ananlysis of how Duncan and Gwen have the hots for each other****:**

Bridgette's eyes widened when she realized she had in her hands a stack of easily a hundred papers filled with Courtney's tiny cursive, and turned to look at the expectant face of her friend with a slightly disturbed, do-you-actually-want-me-to-read-this expression.

After a moment, Courtney sighed in defeat, "Fine. Just read the first three points."

Bridgette accepted this and read:

**Point 1. **_**Gwen**__**: "Wow, who knew you were such a sucker for the A type?"**_**  
**

**-Gwen, trying to talk me down in front of Duncan. Clearly indicating she was attracted to him and saw me as an obstacle she had to get out of the way.**

**Point ****2. **_**Duncan**__**: "Whoa, you wanna make something of it?"  
**_

_**Gwen**__**: "You can do better that."**_

_**Duncan: laughs and tackles her.**_

**-Duncan failing to defend me and merely laughing instead demonstrates that A. he's trying to decide between me and Gwen, and doesn't want to ruin his chances with her by defending me, and/or B. he doesn't care for me enough to go out of his way to save my honor.**

**Point ****3. The 'oops' look on both their faces when they realized their position. Not the look of two 'friends', as they so eloquently put it, playing around. That was sexual tension in its purest form.**

"Wow… You really thought this through." Bridgette said. "Courtney, did you do all their dialogue by heart?" she asked, worried about her friend's sanity.

Courtney rolled her eyes for what seemed the hundreth time that night. "Of course not. What do you think I am, a lunatic? No, I rewatched the whole Aftermath a few times on my PDA." She explained, not reassuring her friend at all.

Looking over the pages, Bridgette realized for the first time just how pissed off Courtney really was at Duncan.

"Soo, you two are never going back?" she asked, although she already knew the answer to that question. She had _seen_ Courtney and Duncan together, seen how happy they were around each other. No matter how much Courtney insisted she didn't care, she couldn't necglect all that as easily as she would like to.

"Nuh-uh… at least not until I can assure it's under _my_ own terms." Courtney said proudly, contradicting Bridgette's thoughts.

But the blonde knew not to be fooled. Her friend was in denial, and she would come to realize the truth eventually. Then again, Courtney was stubborn enough to stay in denial for ages and never realize she was, in fact, in denial.

Needless to say, Bridgette wanted to probe further, but her friend had left her hardly any opening. She looked around trying to figure out a new approach, and suddenly smiled as a plan ocurred to her.

"Tell you what." She stood up and reached for a notebook. "You don't wana tell me anything, fine." She ripped a page and handed it to her. "Write it here."

Courtney took the paper and frowned. "What makes you think I'm not telling you something?"

It was Bridgette's turn to roll her eyes. "Promise me you'll do it."

"I don't see how…-"

"Just trust me," she cut her off with a smile.

"…Fine" Courtney grumbled, looking at the piece of paper as if it was offending her.

"Oh, and Court?" The alluded looked up. "Don't narrow your eyes so often, you'll have ginormous bags by the time you're twenty." Courtney's eyes immediately widened self-consciously.

As her friend left the room, Courtney rushed to the bathroom to make a home-made facial.

* * *

**1**: I always thought that after the clip, when Bridgette looks towards the peanut gallery, she's checking on Courtney.

_~The Lighthouse_


	3. The Letter

Thanks for the reviews you guys!

* * *

**~The Machine~**

**# ****Chapter 3:** The Letter **#**

Half an hour later, Courtney still lay on her stomach on the bed thinking of what to write. Or rather, berating Bridgette in her mind for putting her through this.

The brunette considered it a waste of time to put an effort in anything that wasn't going to get published or recognized. She hadn't kept a diary since she she was eleven, and even then it was just because her friends all kept one.

And now she was stuck with this useless task, just because her klutz of a friend thought there was something she wasn't saying. _As if she didn't know her own mind._

Suddenly struck with an idea, Courtney grinned evilly as she folded the paper neatly in two and wrote in big bold letters: _To Bridgette_. She then opened the paper again and wrote:

_Dear Bridgette,_

_I'm not hiding anything at all (really!)._

Courtney smirked. How's _that_ for a let-out?

_I do not, in fact, feel secretly sad, and there isn't anything I'm NOT telling you._

She would be done in no time. Then she would give this to Bridgette and get all her probing over with.

_All I feel is anger, indignation and embarrassment towards the situation and the people in it. I do not feel sad that my and Duncan's relationship failed_

Courtney stopped short at that last sentence. It rang wrong in her mind, because really, how could she not be sad? You are always sad when a relationship _fails_. Afirming that she wasn't made her sound like- like a robot. If she wrote that, Bridgette would surely think she was lying.

Maybe she was.

She erased that part and decided to leave the subject alone, since she couldn't write she _was_ sad either, because she had already told Bridgette she wasn't.

Why had she even said that? It wasn't true.

Courtney shook her head and decided that had been a spur of the moment. _Moving on_.

Rereading the letter, she let out a screech of frustration as she realized she had already written she wasn't sad earlier. _Dammit! What __**is**__ it with my subconcious betraying me!?_

She doubted before erasing it, debated with herself for a while and then decided to just leave it as it was and move on.

Courtney realized she'd have to make it more emotional and sappy to convince someone like Bridgette. The brunette consulted experience, thinking back to a few years ago, when one of her sisters, Jill, discovered her boyfriend was cheating on her.

A 12-year-old Courtney had spent days by her side, handing tissues during never-ending crying fits, eating cake and ice cream with her, and offering tender-hearted younger sister advice. The storm had lasted a few days, before she slowly got her life back on track.

And it was right then that Courtney realized just how absently she had handled the whole thing. Yes, she had gotten angry, and possesive, but the whole time she was thinking of how it affected her publicly rather than how it affected her as a person, as a girl, as a girlfriend.

She hadn't taken the time off to mourn the death of her relationship. She had just gone straight back to working to get on the show; a show she shouldn't even want to be in, having had her boyfriend just cheat on her on it.

Now, Courtney didn't think it was appropiate nor acceptable to reduce herself to tearful mess, she just thought it was worth reflecting; her sister had been older than her now when all that happened.

Courtney thought of Jill, of her flowing blonde hair and green eyes- all inherited from Michael. She was a truly beautiful woman; she was also a family girl, and she was about to marry her college sweetheart at the tender age of 23.

This was an action Courtney never had, and never would approve of; marriage, for all intents and purposes, was a tie, and she couldn't see why someone with Jill's intellect and capacity would waste her youth like that. Courtney was alone in that, too; her parents had been thrilled.

Thinking this, Courtney felt at ease once again; if she disagreed so much with her sister and her choices, why should she use her as a reference in her relationships? Clearly the she was different from her sister, and she had reacted differently in accord.

Like an adult—yeah, that was it. She was taking it like an adult. A mature adult who could see when a guy wasn't worth distressing over.

_Although… adults sometimes act like teenagers_, she mused as she thought of how her mom had broken down when Michael abandoned her. But then again, that was her _husband_, the man she'd shared years with, the love of her life.

Courtney knew she liked Duncan a lot, and at some point she might have fantasized of him being the love of her life; but in all honesty she had no idea what she felt about him, while he had always seemed to have it so clear.

She had always avoided thinking about this, but now with the Gwen thing, and that stupid letter task… she felt like she was compelled to figure it out, fast.

Courtney wanted to shout at Bridgette, for making her think of things she didn't want to think about, but she couldn't bring herself to get angry with her; right now, she didn't feel anything.

Courtney looked down at the paper and forgot all her previous intentions as she wrote the next sentence:

_Bridgette, I don't really know what I feel._

She pulled that pencil back to examine what she'd just written. It rang true, for a change.

_What's wrong with me? How come I'm not crying my heart out? Am I really as insensitive as I parade to be?_

After she finished writing that sentence, Courtney suddenly got a hold of herself. What was she _doing_ now? Was she going with Bridgette's original idea now? Didn't she think the likes of this were a waste of time?

The brunette, out of pride, wanted to stop right there.

But then again…

Courtney looked at the paper, which still was more than a half blank, and bit her lip.

…she wanted to see where this would lead her. Her natural curiosity sparked, and she had an uncharacteristic burst of humbleness as she thought maybe Bridgette was right, this _did_ help. And besides, nobody had to know she did this, right? That she went against her personal beliefs….

Courtney thought no more and began to pour all her thoughts onto the paper.

_Bridgette, I do not feel like my heart's been riped off from my chest, I simply feel nothing._

_Was I not pretending when I told everyone I didn't care?_

_Bridgette, did I ever really loved Duncan?_

_I haven't shed one tear since I started suspecting of him and Gwen to this day. If I really cared about him, my heart should be split in two right now, I should be cryng a river._

_Ever since this all started, I haven't had one single moment of weakness, in wich I missed him, or wished he was here._

Courtney laid her head on her hand, and bit her lip as she wrote on.

_Bridgette, if I cared about Duncan at all, I wouldn't have gotten angry at him or felt the need to wrapp my hands around his neck and strangle him slowly. I would've gone in denial, blaming Gwen of everything, and then gone crying to his feet, beging him to tell me it wasn't true, and that if I'm lucky he'll hug me and tell me its all a lie and we'll be back together._

_But I guess I'm not really that much in love with him, since I can still see matters objetively._

_Bridgette, based on these facts I have come to the conclusion any logical human being would've come to; I don't really love Duncan._

…

…

…well, that was kind of a relief.

There was the answer she had been looking for, she hadn't felt anything because she had no feelings for Duncan.

Courtney leaned back, feeling cold at the core. Now she regretted going with Bridgette's idea; she could have lived on quite contently with those things still buried in her subconcious.

The brunette slowly rose from the bed, her eyes avoiding the letter she had just written. As minutes passed, she drifted away from the trance she had been submerged in as she had that emotional outburst, and reverted slowly back to herself.

She was suddenly startled by a loud beeping coming from her PDA. As she went to accept the reminder for dinner time, she suddenly remembered she still had to call Michael about his offer. So much had happened since she got his letter earlier, she had completely forgotten about it.

Courtney stayed put for a second, as if doubtful. Then she straightened her back and adopted a concentrated frown, that made almost it seem as if the last hour had not hapened at all; and dialed his number with violently shaky fingers that let see it had, in fact, happened.

Courtney had just had a crazy idea.

"_Hello?_" the voice was heard at the other end of the line.

"Michael, it's Courtney," she said. "Your daughter," she clarified after a moment, thinking of how many Courtney's a businessman like him must know.

Courtney felt her sudden resolve like a fire glowing brighter in her chest, melting away the conficting feelings from before. Convincing her father should be easy enough….

"_I can recognize your voice,_" he said curtly, with a tinge of hurt that was always sure to appear whenever they had a conversation.

"Yeah, yeah," Courtney said without thinking. "Listen, I thought about your offer."

She wouldn't let anyone manipulate her, anymore.

"_And?_"

She wouldn't let Duncan toy with her feelings.

Courtney turned to her room's window. "I don't take it."

She wouldn't let her father buy her.

Michael sounded put out. "_You don't?_"

"No," she said firmly. "I will, however, take" she drew back the curtain to see outside and smirked, "a plane."

* * *

Ooh, what's Courtney up to? I'd love to hear guesses. :D

The typos in the letter are intentional.

_~The Lighthouse_


	4. A Plan and a Misunderstanding

GAH! I'm sooo sorry I took so long. I took a Christmas break (without telling anyone :P) and then I had to write through a fever, then a heat wave, a massive internet crash (don't ask, I don't get technology) and my period. Yeah, that bad. On that note, forgive me if Ezekiel's accent is not flawless, the Internet was too weak for me to load a tutorial video on Youtube.

* * *

**~The Machine~**

**# ****Chapter 4:** A Plan and a Misunderstanding **#**

The morning sun found the sole awake soul at that hour packing up in her room.

Courtney had spent all night arguing with her father about booking her a flight, and all early morning packing the documents she needed, which alone occupied a whole suitcase.

She had barely gotten to sleep through the excitement, and woken up bright and early. She had taken a shower to freshen up, and then started going through her papers.

Her rather positive mood was spoiled when she realized the paper she currently had in her hands wasn't a lawsuit-related document at all, it was the letter she had written the night before. The feelings from last night started to invade her, but before they could get to her, she put the piece of paper on her nightstand, off her bed and off her mind.

She honestly didn't know what was going through her mind when she wrote that depressing, drawn-out letter.

The thing was pathetic. It didn't even deserve to be called a piece of writing.

All the sentences were jumbles, the ideas were inconclusive, and she hadn't proof-read it, but she was sure there would be typos. _Typos_. This was _not_ how a CIT was supossed to write, and she was ashamed of ever writing it.

And the worst part was, it expressed feelings she didn't have- honest! She didn't mean what she had written; it was only a moment of weakness. And if anyone were to read this, it would give them the wrong idea as to what type of person she was.

But all that didn't matter, because no one would ever read this.

And really, that pathetic excuse for a piece of writing was the least of her worries right now, because in little less than an hour, she would be on her way to Vancouver, and to the head offices of Fleckman, Fleckman, Cohen, and Grouse.

Courtney was tired of being tossed around like a ragdoll by her lawyers and never seeing results. She had decided to go up there herself, and plead her own case.

Her motives were simple; she had gotten lawyers, put her trust in them, and they had failed her. Now she wanted to defend herself.

After all, she had done most of the work herself. She had provided the information, written the essays, done the research, and pulled up her opponent's record. The only thing left for her to do was representing herself.

So now she was going to do just that.

Courtney checked the time –it was almost time for that intern/butler/test dummy to pick her up- and then checked the mirror.

Her hair had been carefully straightened to perfection for the ocassion; and her face looked clean and alight with that determined expression she loved to see on herself.

Pulling away from the mirror, she did a mental check. Papers in the suitcase, change of clothes and make-up in the duffel bag, her PDA tucked safely in her back pocket… everything seemed to be alright.

Then her eyes rested on the letter on her nightstand; she couldn't leave it there so out in the open. She walked towards it and held it in her hands, and reluctantly opened it. Her eyes flew to the ending, where one last line had been added before she signed it.

_Bridgette, I am going to put an end to this. I am going to do, what I have to do._

The ending was every bit as unclear and bizarre as the rest of the letter; only she would understand that by _put an end _she meant to stop feeling like she had when writing all of above, and that what she was _going to do_ was fly up to the courtroom and get herself back on the show.

She had added that last night, in the midst of the thrill of the idea she'd had. It had seemed like a the right thing back then; after all, that paper had seen her at her worst, it was only suitable that it would record how she picked herself up.

…As stupid at that sounded.

But then again, Courtney insisted that everything she did was perfectly done. As petty as the task may be.

Her train of thought was interrupted by a swift knock on her door. Like a deer caught in the head lights, she immediately straightened herself up and tucked the letter in between a conveniently placed stack of books.

She gathered her luggage and opened to the intern, expression composed.

Only as she walked down the hallway next to the intern could she calm her racing heart, and a smug smirk made its way to her face.

This was not how a CIT was supossed to write, but Courtney decided she didn't care about that. If you asked her, all the impecably written and –if she dared say so herself- outstanding oficcial documents she had written in her life made up for it.

And at the end of the day, it was all those publishable documents that really counted, and not some wannabe diary entry letter destined to be lost under endless stacks of files and memories.

Courtney smiled and held her head high, feeling, for once, that all was right in her own little world.

* * *

"So, how's things with Geoff?" Trent asked Bridgette.

"Oh, same as always. I can't get him to snap out of his Hollywood boy daze," Bridgette answered with a dismissive hand wave.

"You sure you don't wanna talk about it?" Trent tried again.

"I'll find a way around it. Let's focus on you. You sure you don't want me to switch Gwen's shampoo with blond dye next time she hits the showers?"

Trent politely turned down the offer once again, and hung his head down in defeat. Ever since he had arrived to Playa de Losers, he had witnessed Bridgette trying to act like a personal psychologist to everyone, and time and time again, she refused to talk about her own problems with Geoff.

Right now they were heading to the pool, because the blonde thought being outside with the others would do him good after the events of the day before.

Trent sighed. He didn't get why everything had to change and get all tangled and complicated. Why couldn't it be like before, when Bridgette and Geoff were happy, and so were he and Gwen?

The musician was shaken out of his thoughts when he saw Bridgette calling the elevator.

"Uh, Bridgette? I thought we were going to the pool," he said.

The blonde sent a smile his way. "Oh, we are. I just wanna check on Courtney first. She wasn't down for breakfast this morning."

Trent just nodded. He had noticed too, but he couldn't say he had been as worried as the blonde next to him. Courtney had never exactly been a friend of his, and he didn't feel like changing that anytime soon.

He didn't tell Bridgette this because she would surely tell him to cut her some slack and that they should try to be friends. Courtney _had_, after all, single-handedly converted four people to 'Team Trent'. But, that was really for her personal gain and that didn't make her any better of a person in Trent's book.

They silently got to said brunette's door and Bridgette softly knocked on it. "Courtney?" To her immense surprise, the door gave in beneath her hand; it was open.

She looked back at Trent, who shrugged and signalled her to go in. Bridgette poked her head inside and called again. "Courtney?" Seeing no one, she opened the door fully. "She's not here," she told Trent as she went inside.

Trent awkwardly followed the blonde. "Where could she be?" she wondered aloud. "I didn't see her downstairs. Have you seen her at all today, Tr-WHOA!"

Trent snapped his head up just in time to see Bridgette get her foot tangled on the foot of a drawer and fall to the ground, knocking a pile of books in the process. He ran to help her to her feet.

Both teenagers failed to notice, among the multitude of falling books, that a piece of paper labeled simply, '_To Bridgette'_ had slipped out. It floated around a couple of times until came to land on top of Courtney's bed.

"Are you okay?" Trent asked.

"Yeah… I'm used to falling down." Bridgette said in a resigned tone.

Trent chuckled; turning around, he noticed a piece of paper laying innocently on the bed. "Hey look," he said as he grabbed it. "She left a letter."

"Oh," Bridgette smiled as she took it, glad that her friend had thought to let her know of her whereabouts. She opened the letter and began reading.

Trent watched as Bridgette's happy expression turned into an unsettled frown. She only became more confused as she read on.

"Wha…?" she murmured as she sat down on the bed.

"What's wrong, Bridge?" Trent asked, but got no response from the blonde who just kept on reading.

She looked worried when she finally looked up. "I don't understand," she told Trent. "Why would she leave me something like this?"

"What does it say?" Trent asked. Even though it was adressed specifically to Bridgette, his curiosity took the better of him and he wanted to see what had shaken her up so badly. He gently took the letter from her fingers.

A few moments later he was done reading, and he was even more confused than Bridgette. He was socked, and slightly disturbed. The contents of the letter were very emotional, which was only scarier because of the fact that Courtney had written it, a girl that was usually centered and acted shallow as they came. He couldn't even picture her writing this.

"It… looks like she wrote it in different times," he finally spoke one of his first observations.

Bridgette nodded. "Or she changed her mind a lot," she added. She seemed to have snapped out of her trance, and looked at Trent in the eyes. "Last night I was trying to get her to confess she was hurt about what Duncan had done, rather than just mad," she explained, and Trent nodded, making sense of the first few lines. "But this makes no sense. Why couldn't she tell me herself? Why did she write it in a letter? This is not like her at all."

"Maybe she couldn't," Trent said.

"What do you mean?" Bridgette asked him, her green eyes anxiously searching for an explanation.

"I-I don't know," Trent said truthfully. He ran a hand through his hair.

Bridgette retrieved the letter. "I'm gonna put an end to this," she read, frustrated. "I'm gonna do what I have to do. What that hell's that supossed to mean?"

Trent had also noticed that. It was the part that disturbed him the most. That phrase could mean anything, although one possible meaning stuck out in his mind. He debated whether or not to say it outloud.

"Well, it's sounds like…" he started.

"Like what?" Bridgette urged.

"…nothing, forget it."

"Sounds like what, Trent?" she insisted.

Trent stared at her. He opened his mouth, then closed it again. Bridgette stared back at him, wondering what he could be thinking that was so hard to say.

"Well it sounds…" he leaned closer to her and spoke in a low voice. "It sounds like a suicide letter."

Bridgette's eyes widened. "What!?" she cried out.

"W-well it makes sense," he stammered. "put an end to this… do what I have to do…"

"You really think so?" the blonde cried, and then, to Trent's horror, her eyes started filling with tears. "Oh my God! I knew she was hiding something! I knew! Why didn't I insist a little more!?" she wailed.

"Bridge, Bridge, calm down! I'm not saying that's what she did, it's just what it seems!" Trent made himself be heard over her loud sobs, and placed his hands on her shoulders to calm her down. "I'm not sure that's what happened."

"You're not?" the blonde asked.

"No," Trent responded, breathing a sigh of relief. "I'm sorry, okay? Listen, let's go ask around if someone's seen her."

"Okay," she nodded, taking deep breaths to calm down. "okay… let's go."

When they went out of the room, the first people they saw on the hallway were Tyler, who was trying to ride a skateboard, and Eva, who was lifting weights casually next to him.

"Tyler, have you s-" was all Trent got out before having to duck to avoid taking a skateboard to the head.

"Have you seen Courtney today?" Bridgette finished for him.

Tyler thought. "Mmh, no, I don't th-"

"What about you Eva?" Bridgette turned to the other girl urgently.

Eva simply said, "No."

Bridgette grabbed Trent by the wrist and led him away, not even bothering to thank the two. They went into the elevator, where they found Izzy, hanging from the ceiling fan.

"Izzy, have you seen Courtney today?" Bridgette asked, going straight to business.

Izzy looked down at them. "Not since breakfast," she said.

Bridgette stared at her. "She wasn't_ there _at breakfast."

"Oh," Izzy said, then giggled. "Then no."

Bridgette knew she wasn't going to get any answers from the redhead. She and Trent exited the elevator on the ground floor.

"DJ," Trent called. "Man, have you seen Courtney?"

"No, now that you mention, haven't seen her since last night," answered the gentle giant. "She hasn't come down for breakfast yet?"

"We can't find her anywhere," Trent said. "Bridgette?"

"Hey!" Bridgette called at Noah and Cody, who were at the other side of the pool. "Yeah, you two! Have you seen Courtney today?" The two shook their heads, and Bridgette let them go on their way, and grabbed Trent's hand again to continue their search.

"Hey wait! What's up with Courtney?" asked a now worried DJ, as he followed after the pair that had taken off.

"Ezekiel," Bridgette called the prairie boy in the hot tub. "Have you seen Courtney?"

"She was there at the Aftermath, eh," the boy replied confidently, as if the answer was obvious.

"No, not last night," Bridgette said, exasperated. "Today. Have you seen her today?"

Ezekiel became fidgety at his apparent mistake, and nervously responded, "Uh, n-n-no, eh."

The blonde surfer stomed off, leaving Ezekiel feeling an even bigger sense of failure. Trent could see the girl was getting borderline desperate, and watched from behind as she approached none other than his now ex-girlfriend.

Gwen was sitting on a chair by the pool, looking as out of place as she felt. She had been extremely bored and lonely all day, with the only person that had tried to talk to her being Cody, who she now considered the one friend she had in Playa de Losers.

That was why she got such a shock when she saw Bridgette, of all people, address her. Then she got another shock when she saw the blonde had tears in the corner of her eyes, and sounded all but desperate.

"Gwen, have you seen Courtney today?"

"Courtney?" It took the goth a while to process what she was hearing. "No, not since last night."

"Oh my God!" Bridgette cried, burying her head on Trent's arm, who by this time had appeared along with DJ by her side.

"What? What's going on?" Gwen asked as she stood up, alarmed.

Sadie and Katie walked towards them. "Hey guys, what's going on?" asked a worried Katie.

"Yeah, and why's Bridgette crying?" asked Sadie, laying a calming hand on the blonde's back.

"It's about Courtney," Trent explained as she comforted Bridgette.

"What's going on with Courtney?" Noah asked, the commotion having also attracted him and Cody.

"We can't find her," Trent told the small crowd of people. "We think she might have…" he trailed off.

"We think she killed herself," Bridgette said between sobs.

Gasps were heard throughout the group of people.

"What!?" DJ exclaimed. "Why on Earth would you think _that_!?"

"Yeah, why would you come to that conclusion?" Noah added in agreement.

"Well she left a letter," Trent said. "And now we can't find her, and nobody's seen her."

"That's not enough reason to believe she's killed herself," Gwen said. "C'mon, this is Courtney! I think she'd be little more rational than to do something like that, or at least a little prouder."

Bridgette had looked up, looking almost hopeful at the disbelief of the others; but Trent didn't doubt for one second.

"You didn't read that letter," he said simply, knowing they all had no idea of the weight of that sentence. They didn't know what she had on her back last night. The didn't know all that had been going through her mind. Only half an hour ago, Trent saw Courtney in a completely different light than he did now. Half an hour ago, he wouldn't have believed what he was saying now either.

"Well… then let's see it," Gwen said slowly, extending her hand to receive the infamous letter.

Trent was about to gladly give it to her, but Bridgette intervened, snatching the paper away from them both. "No," she said sternly. "This was adressed to me. You reading it was already a mistake," she told Trent, who lowered his head slightly. "I'm not letting anyone else have it… she would be mad," she said, and then looked away into the distance.

There was a pause in which the ex-contestants looked at each other for something to say.

"…So, like, is this about Duncan?" Katie finally asked.

"Yeah, did she do it because of what he did with Gwen?" Sadie backed her up.

"I hope you're happy, by the way," Katie told Gwen.

"Yeah, look at what you made her do!"

"Okay wait," Cody interrupted. "Are we sure she really killed herself?"

"Yeah," Gwen jumped up. "What if this is just a charade pulled by Chris? It wouldn't be the first time he did something like this."

Bridgette looked at the letter. "It looks like her handwriting… And I don't think she'd agree with Chris to fake all of this."

"Yeah, and as much of a jerk as Chris is," Noah said. "He's never bothered with us losers before. Why would he start now?"

It was true. Chris would never waste time setting up anything he wasn't going to broadcast, and there were no cameras in Playa de Losers right now.

"So if the letter is, like, real, this is all Gwen's fault," Katie put in.

"Hey, don't blame her!" Cody jumped in Gwen's defense. "This is Duncan's fault too! There were two sets of lips on the bridge that night!"

"For the love of _God_, nothing happened between Duncan and I!" Gwen exclaimed for the hundreth time.

"Even if that were true," Sadie said coldly. "I don't think this is anyone's fault. Courtney must've been already like, unstable if she did something like this."

"Hey, are you calling my best friend insane?" Bridgette jumped up.

Voices and tension were rising between the group, and you could sense that a big argument was about to unfold. And that was probably what would've happened, if the teenagers hadn't gotten distracted by a new voice that made itself be heard:

"Maybe she didn't necessarily kill herself."

People moved apart to reveal Ezekiel, who had been casually standing there with no one noticing him.

"Maybe she ran away, eh."

* * *

Courtney stood on a Vancouver parking lot, with her mother on the phone.

"Mother, will you stop yelling?"

"_No! What you did was crazy, Courtney!_" the woman on the other line berated. "_I can't believe you were planning to defend yourself all along!_"

The brunette sighed. No, of course she had not told her parents what she was _really_ planning. Michael would have never conceded her the transportation if he'd known. Unfortunately, there had been a slight change of planes; Michael himself had appeared in the plane, alleging she shouldn't travel that long a distance by herself, and things had complicared for Courtney.

At her insistance of him staying inside the jet during the trial, he had eventually figured out her true plans. And then Courtney had been forced to take some… measures, to assure the success of her plan-

"_Courtney, you locked your father inside a plane!_"

Courtney rolled her eyes. She didn't really regret that, though she did regret leaving a cell phone inside with him that he could reach her mother with.

"_What were you thinking? You lied and tricked us, and all to do something that could've put your father's and my reputation at stake! You should be ashamed of yourself!_"

"It's those lawyers who should be ashamed!" Courtney retorted. "They weren't doing anything for me, just lounging around leeching off me to do _their_ job!"

"_I don't care! They are the lawyers, and it's your own fault if you let them depend on you! But you going up there and taking their place is unnecessary and innapropiate!_"

"Mother, the case was mine from the beginning. Those _lawyers_ put no heart in it. _I_ actually _care_ about the outcome."

"_Heart!? Courtney, there people studied for years to get where they are. You are a sixteen-year-old girl who thinks she can win an impossible case on __**heart**__!_"

"What are you trying to say?" she asked quickly, eyes narrowed with suspicion. "You don't think I can do it?" she asked, pronouncing every word slowly as if it were an inconceivable concept.

"_Do __**you**__?_"

"Of _course_ I do," she replied indignantly.

In all honesty, she hadn't thought of doubting herself until her mother brought it up. It simply hadn't ocurred to her the concept that she couldn't do it. It was a given that if there was someone that could do it, it was her.

"Mother, you once told me to fight for my dreams," she said self-righteously.

Big mistake.

"_I would've never told you that if I'd known what your dreams were!_"

Courtney paused, surprised at the implications of such a statement, and the tone of her mother's voice that showed no sign of backing down or apologizing. Was her mother finally giving up on her, like she was always threatening to?

Courtney pursed her lips. "Well it doesn't matter anyhow."

"_And why not?_"

She frowned. "Because I already won the lawsuit."

"…_What?_" she asked in a thin voice. "_You won?_"

"Yes," she smiled happily, the past events coming back to her. She laughed. "Hey, you should know the amazing things I'm capable of doing," she said teasingly. She got no response. "Mom?" she stopped smiling. "Mom."

She drew away the phone and found a '_call ended_' message, indicating her mother had hung up on her. Courtney felt a pang on her chest, but then she spotted Chris about to enter the lame-o-sine, and her mind jumped to more important things.

She stuffed her PDA in her pocket and jogged towards him, a smile playing on her face. The man had a truly pissed off expression on his face, something that was rarely seen on camera.

He then spotted her and his frown grew deeper. "Hi, Chris," she said cheerfully.

"Courtney! My _faavorite_ contestant," he said sarcastically. "Came to steal anything else? Want my yacht or my summer house? My personal trainer? _Chef_?"

A low grunt was heard from inside the lame-o-sine, indicating Chef was inside.

Courtney chuckled gleefully. "Must be mortifying losing to a teenage girl, isn't it? Especially after you managed to evade a hord of lawyers for so long."

Chris opened the door. "You know, people call _me_ a sadist," he started.

"Want me to shut up about it?" Courtney interrupted him.

Chris stopped, with a leg already inside the vehicle, and looked at her strangely. "And why would you do that?"

Courtney rolled her eyes. "Because you would do something for me in return."

Chris paused for a second, then got out of the lame-o-sine. "Talk."

"These are my conditions," she handed him a stack of paper. "It's basically inmunity for the first challenge and complete access to my PDA, along with… other benefits."

Chris was attempting to read all the pages at the same time. "Alright, I'll have my lawyers revise it and then-"

Courtney shook her head. "Forget it. I don't have all day."

"I'm not signing it without reading it. You think you can out-fine print me? I _invented_ that!"

"Fine then," Courtney retrieved the contract and turned around. "I'm sure the cast will _love_ to hear all about how I beat you."

Chris slapped his face. "Alright, alright!" he gave in. "Gimme that, I'll sign it!"

Courtney turned around, with a beaming expression that made Chris want to punch her lights out—but he didn't even want to think of the consequences of _that_.

"Sign here… and here… here… aand here, we're done!" she chirped, and collected the contract. "Oh no, keep the pen. Pleasure doing business with you."

Then she turned around, very concious of the fact that Chris had thrown said pen to the ground and was repeatedly jumping on it in a fit of rage.

This only fueled her smile as she merrily walked away.

* * *

Keep in tune to see what happens in Playa de Losers!;)

_~The Lighthouse_


	5. She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain

I'm sorry for the slow updates. I'm an amazingly slow writer xD.

Also, I've been necglecting to thank the reviewers, I just want to say all reviews are valuable to me and I hold them really close to my heart :)

**

* * *

**

**~The Machine~**

**# ****Chapter 5:** She'll Be Coming Round The Mountain **#**

It was past sunset at Playa de Losers, and there was still no sign of Courtney.

The news of the conflict had eventually gotten around among the other ex-contestants. An air of tension reigned in the resort, a tension that had its main source in Bridgette.

The blonde had been restless all day; almost too nervous to talk or eat at all, and too worried to be swayed by offers to surf or swim or distract herself in anyway. Trent, DJ and Gwen had stayed by her side all day, offering comfort as best as they could.

Right now she was sitting by the edge of the pool, hugging her legs to her chest, and staring off into the distance.

Trent sat by her, strumming a random melody on his guitar as he watched the blonde next to him. No matter how much they had tried to distract her all day, he knew Courtney hadn't once left her mind. She wouldn't breathe freely until they got a clue of where she was.

The suspense was killing them all, in different ways. Personally, he was worried sick about Courtney, but his own worry was mostly drowned out in trying to make Bridgette feel better. He, too, wouldn't breath freely until they found Courtney.

Gwen and DJ were taking it a lot better. In all honesty, they were the ones doing most of the comforting, but Trent was convinced that was because they hadn't read the infamous letter; they only knew half of the story, and only had half of the worries.

As for the others, they were all carrying out their normal lives, although everything had a strain to it. Even if they didn't like Courtney from before, the sight of Bridgette sick with worry was heart-tugging enough. In the end, Playa de Losers was immerged in a somber atmosphere.

So needless to say, it was highly noticeable when an oblivious Geoff came barging in.

"WHO-HOO, what a day! Who knew being wrapped up in curative cocoa leaves could be so much fun! I'm so gonna do this dayly! …Hey, why's everybody so quiet?"

Trent and Gwen looked at each other, unsure of whether they should tell him. DJ scratched the back of his neck awkwardly, and Bridgette had an indefinite expression on her face.

"Uh, guys? What's wrong?" Geoff asked, unsettled at everyone's silence.

Bridgette sighed. "Well, _if_ you care… Courtney's missing. We can't find her," she finished with a sad tone.

Geoff's eyes widened. "What, seriously? But, Bridge," he kneeled down next to his worried girlfriend. "Why didn't you _call_ me? You know I had my phone with me. I would've come in a heartbeat!"

Bridgette looked up, surprised at her boyfriend's attitude, and her features immediately softened. "Aw, babe, really? I thought you didn't care anymore!" she cooed happily as she went to hug him.

"Well of course! This would make for a _killer_ Aftermath show!" he stood up, rubbing his hands together. "I can already see the titles: 'Ex-Total Drama Island contestant runs away in attempt to fix her broken heart'!"

Bridgette stared at her boyfriend in disbelief and disappointment. Then her expression contorted and she sprung up, interrupting Geoff's plotting. "Geoff!" she growled, gaining his attentition. "How can you be such a mean, egotistical jerk!"

Geoff stared in shock, forgetting what he was planning.

"She could be dead now for all we know! And all you're worried about is your stupid show!?" Those who had spent the day with Bridgette could clearly see she was blowing off the tension and fear that had accompanied her all day, but Geoff of course had been caught by surprise. "One of our friends, she could be dead! _Dead_!"

So absorbed was everyone watching the argument, they didn't notice a newcomer entering the scene.

"Who could be dead?"

All heads turned at the familiar polite, high-pitched voice.

Gwen pointed and spoke the sole thought on everyone's mind, "Courtney."

That was like a wake-up call for Bridgette.

"_Courtney_!" The blonde threw herself into her friend's arms, making the CIT gasp at the impact, and almost drop her bags.

A confused Courtney hugged her back anyway. "Wow, I… missed you too, Bridge."

The majority of the Playa de Losers made their way towards the two, wanting to find out what had happened, while Geoff walked in the opossite direction, muttering, "Damn, so much for that special…"

But if Bridgette heard him, she didn't care. She held on to her friend as one would to life, happy now the pressure that had been constricting her heart since this morning had been finally relieved. "Courtney, I was so worried! I'm so glad you're okay!" she spoke, barely registering what she was saying.

When she finally pried herself off her, Courtney smiled good-naturedly as she adjusted her bags, "Hey, what's with the energetic welcome?" she chuckled, and in another situation, Bridgette would've been questioned her uncharacteristically amiable demeanor, but right now she didn't pick up on it.

"Courtney, where've you been?" Trent, who was at Bridgette's side, took the word.

Courtney directed her smile at him, "I was in Vancouver."

"Vancouver?" Bridgette repeated.

"That's a little far to run away to, eh," Ezekiel commented to Cody, low enough for Courtney to miss.

"What were you doing in Vancouver?" Bridgette asked.

"Oh don't you remember?" she asked, still in her good disposition. "Today was the trial. And guess what," she paused for dramatic effect. "I won."

"You what?" Bridgette asked distractedly, still struggling to keep up with the reality that her friend was not dead, or harmed, or contemplating being dead, or even dismal at all.

"I won," Courtney repeated, either not noticing or not caring about her friend not following up. She threw her arms in the air and closed her eyes as she announced, "I, am _back_ on the show."

"What? Really?"

"But how?"

"Seriously?"

"She's back?"

Other people's voices chimed in, and Courtney was concious in that moment that no one even thought it possible to get back on the show by filing a lawsuit. This notion made her feel even prouder of her accomplishment.

"Your lawyers actually beat Chris?" Gwen asked.

"Wait, you mean you get to have a second chance?" Eva demanded.

Eva's words sank in among the losers, causing everyone to momentarily forget their feelings worry for Courtney they had felt all day, to give place to ones of anger and jealousy.

Courtney's brow furrowed. "It _would've_ been second change if I've been voted off fair and square. But I was wrongly eliminated, so it is perfectly licit that I come back," Courtney was on the defensive, but in truth, the bitter comments didn't really get to her. It was just like the losers to give up on a cause and then get mad at the one who worked hard and actually accomplished something.

She noticed Bridgette was still looking at her rather stoked. Then she remembered the way she had received her, and everyone's overall reaction to her arrival, and decided to ask, "Why, where did you think I was?"

Bridgette and Trent gaped at her. With no words coming to their rescue, they resorted for the plain truth. "W-we thought you'd killed yourself," Bridgette stammered.

Courtney seemed to choke on her laughter, "W-what? Why would you think that?" she giggled, as if the idea was ridiculous to her.

Bridgette leaned back, both she and Trent not knowing what to say to that.

And in truth, all the other ex-contestants were now beginning to feel pretty stupid for ever considering that option seriously. Having Courtney in front of them, being her usual lively self was like having reality set back in, after worrying over nothing all day.

Bridgette frowned. "Well why would you leave me something like this?" she asked, finally pulling out the troublesome letter. "It scared me."

Courtney directed her judgemental eyes to the paper she was presenting. She read the caption, '_To Bridgette_', and her heart skipped a beat she realized exactly what the paper was.

Everybody watched as her expression turned dark, as she went to take the letter in her hands. When she spoke, her tone was tight, "Where did you find this?" Bridgette didn't answer, taken aback by her cold tone. "You weren't supossed to read this." She had her head lowered, and her eyes narrowed.

"It was adressed to me," Bridgette said.

"It was the let-out _thing_ you told me to do," she looked up, some of her normal energy coming back to her. "_No one_ was supossed to read it."

Bridgette stood, silent, as the events of the day slowly started to make sense in her mind. Meanwhile, all the rest of the watchers, including Trent, stayed in cluelessness.

She looked at her friend, who was fumbling to get the paper inside one of her bags.

She remembered some of the words she had read in the letter, that she now realized was very much the same as if she had read her diary, and looked at her friend with worry. "Courtney," she started. "if you really feel that way…-"

"I can handle my own problems," she said sharply, looking up to Bridgette, with such an intensity and decisiveness in her eyes, that the blonde shut herself right up.

She picked up her stuff and diverged her attention to the crowd around them. "And what are you all watching? Show's over people, now _shoo_!" She commanded, her good mood completely gone.

And when the crowd cleared, she herself took her leave, meeting no opposition, as it was supossed to be.

* * *

Courtney wanted to kick herself. She really did.

She got to her room and slammed the door behind herself.

How could she have been so stupid? It wasn't like her to leave loose strings! What was wrong with her?

She threw her bags on the floor and threw herself on the bed, burying her face on a pillow.

In all honesty, it wasn't all her fault. How was she to know people would come snoop around in her room and just happen to find a paper that, casually, contained her deepest and most secret thoughts? How had Bridgette even found it? Did she normally open her law books just for the heck of it? Seriously, what was wrong with that girl?

She looked up from the pillow and looked at the damned piece of paper.

Her frown softened and she felt a sense of cool clarity wash over her.

_No_, she told herself. The fault laid on none other than herself. She should've ripped or burnt that letter. She should've never added that part at the end. She shouldn't have written anything to begin with.

At the end it was all her own fault.

She got up and started to angrily rip the paper to shreds. This action gave her no satisfaction, because she was haunted by the knowledge that she should've done this earlier.

Arghh, stupid turn of events. She had been so happy half an hour ago.

She had finally accomplished what she had been working on for weeks non-stop. She had actually felt at peace with herself then, something that, for someone as self-demanding as herself, was very rare.

Courtney sat crossed-legged on the bed as she made a new resolution for herself. No more writing down your thoughts. It left her secrets open for others to find, it was evidence of her weakness, and it actually gave her a reminiscence of therapy.

She creased her mouth.

Yes, Courtney had been to therapy.

It had been after dad left, her mother had noticed her getting more hostile and closed on herself, which was pretty much ridiculous. She was nine, she was only trying to mark her territory and form her character.

It had been a complete waste of time. Therapy was for people who were unable to help themselves, not like her, who solved her own problems. She remembered telling the psychiatrist that her being here took time away from other people actually needed help.

The psychiatrist had patted her head and told her she was adorable.

But enough of the flashbacks. Courtney closed her eyes and told herself that from now on, all her thoughts would stay in her head, where no one could use them against her.

She would redo herself, into a person that did not make stupid mistakes like that. Shed her own being, like a butterfly, and become another person, one slightly more perfect.

She opened her eyes, feeling refreshed. She got up and started unpacking as she thought back to Bridgette's and, apparently, Trent's freaky conclusion-jumping. She struggled to understand their thought process. How had they resolved she had killed herself?

Was the letter that melodramatic?

She rolled her eyes. It was a little bit disappointing that at least Bridgette didn't know her better. She wasn't the kind of girl to lose it and suddenly want to end her own life. No, her life was simply worth too much. And she should know she always picked herself up in the end.

What had happened today was a perfect example of it. Twenty-four hours before, she felt like crap. And now, just a day later, she had flown to the courthouse and back, fired her lawyers, won the case herself, and gotten put back on the show.

And the pride she felt for doing all that by herself, that was already worth more than a million dollars, more than keeping the sympathy of the other contestants, and definetely more that getting back her boyfriend.

…

And, for now, that was enough.

* * *

Courtney's good mood was back next morning as she prepared for the ride that would take her to the Total Drama Action set. She couldn't stop picturing her glorious return.

The regular crowd that usually gathered to receive the new arrivals to Playa de Losers were gathered to say goodbye to her, though rather begrudgingly.

The collective concern that they all had felt for Courtney the day before had been easily forgotten, and replaced with an even stronger bitterness than they felt before, either because of the rough time she had made them go through the day before, or the fact that she got a second chance in the competition when they couldn't.

Before entering the lame-o-sine, she turned to the other ex-contestants with an easy smile on her face and, adopting the practiced polite tone that came so easy to her, she spoke;

"I want to apologize to all of you for yesterday. I really should've left a note telling where I was. I'm sorry for making you all worry. Especially Bridgette," she looked around, noticing probably for the first time that her surfer friend was not among the mob of apathetic faces. "wherever she is."

Her statement was met with the deepest indifference, indifference that she _must_ have noticed, but that she didn't acknowledge as she elegantly sat in the seat of the limo and closed the door. **(1)**

And off she went to her fresh new start.

As the vehicle got closer and closer to her destination, Courtney promised herself that, from now on, she would do anything in her power to win.

Which, as was seen before, was a hell of a lot.

* * *

Gwen, Trent and Bridgette watched from the distance as the lame-o-sine that carried Courtney rode off, and the crowd of people dissipated, to go engulf in their normal activities.

Gwen, who stood glaring angrily after Courtney, pointed an acussing finger in her direction. "See? I told you that girl couldn't have killed herself. She's too damn _proud_," she told them.

Bridgette, who had been hesitant to go say goodbye to the CIT in question, lowered her head, unsure of what to say. Courtney had pushed her away so fiercely the night before, that she wasn't sure of where she stood as her friend anymore, or how she should treat her from now on.

Gwen flopped down in a huff, next to Bridgette and Trent, who was once again in company of his guitar.

"She wouldn't give people the satisfaction," Gwen finished maliciously, mostly to herself.

Trent looked at her. He could tell she was really angry. Gwen didn't usually bad-mouth people this way. Bridgette only listened, accepting.

And him? Well, he wasn't so sure what to think of Courtney anymore. It was like he had two different Courtney's; the stone-hard overachiever who had effectively bitched her way back on the show, and the emotional wreck who had written that tear-jerking letter.

He couldn't deny that letter had made him see her in a different light.

But, he didn't know what to do with that.

So Trent turned his attention back to his guitar, letting his worries flow away, as he stummed the melody that had been on his mind all day.

**

* * *

**

**1**: I just have to point out the amazing difference between Haut Camp-ture Courtney (Lindsay: "Nobody liked you that much." Courtney: "_(horrified)_ Everybody likes me!"), and Ocean's Eight-Or Nine Courtney, who took the fact that everybody voted for her even though it wouldn't make any difference sitting down.

And Gwen may be too OOC. I think she sounds like Leshawna :/

Don't even ask me around the title. I went crazy for a bit there xP. Think I got tired from the old title formula.

_ ~The Lighthouse_


	6. Thank Goodness

Soo, I came back from a _loooooong_ writers' block – and a couple of weeks' vacation too ^^ (no computer access).

_CarmillaD_: Uy, gracias por los cumplidos! Jaja, y gracias por darme tu punto de vista, sobre todo de los capítulos 3 y 5, ayuda mucho eso porque los lectores siempre ven cosas que el escritor nunca va a ver si no se lo dicen :)

YO TAMBIÉN soy fanática de la amistad entre Duncan y Gwen! ^^ Sabés qué? Yo ya me los imaginaba en el episodio del asesino de la sierra y el garfio, yo me acuerdo que los vi a los dos disfrutando la pelicula y dije… _mmm, estos dos harían buena pareja_… Por supuesto, en ese entonces yo ni sabía de la existencia de Courtney! (Yo empezé a ver en el episodio en que lo eliminan a Harold)

Disclaimer: I can't believe I've been totally necglecting the disclaimers all this time! But I just watched a documentary on copyright lawsuits, and I'm considerably freaked out, so… TOTAL DRAMA ISLAND/ACTION does NOT belong to me; I do however, own my free interpretation of Courtney's family.

I said on the first chapter this was going to turn out as an AU; this is where it starts.

* * *

**~The Machine~**

**# ****Chapter 6:** Thank Goodness **#**

Two weeks had gone by since Courtney had gotten back on the show, and a lot of things had changed, for the better in Courtney's opinion.

Gone was the hate and jealousy of her former fellow Losers. Present, was that of her actual peers.

Behind was that shameful 'letter incident', which Courtney still kicked herself over, but not so hard now that it was at a far enough distance that she could pretend it never happened.

The important thing was, that she didn't have those doubts anymore. No, she didn't stop to question herself. She didn't have the time to think about that now. And she sure as hell didn't want to, lest she came down from the high cloud of happiness she was currently in.

That's right; because now, for the first time in a long time, Courtney could say she was honestly _happy_. The thrill of competition was back in her, and she was, after the longest time, back in the right track to succeed.

Getting back on the show had been just what she needed. She was filled with a newfound energy and competitive edge.

She was oficially new and improved Courtney, who needed nobody and got off on her own, who always got what she wanted _when_ she wanted it, and who would eventually win Total Drama Action. Nothing would stand in her way this time— this she had promised herself.

And honestly, when someone is that high up in their bliss, why would they stop and complain about the minimal things?

Why should she care about the fact that everybody seemed to hate her?

Courtney had enemies in the competition, she had enemies back in Playa de Losers, she had enemies in management. She was surrounded by hate.

But that was okay, because she wasn't there to make friends in the first place. And if anything, the fact that everyone was against her would only make it all the more triumphal when she won over them all.

So why should she stop and complain about how she suddenly had trouble sleeping?

Courtney had always been a light-sleeper to begin with, especially when she was competing by day.

And although she had never gotten as little sleep as she currently was, and although she did wonder, why now –Why was she losing sleep, when she was at her happiest? When she was, for the first time in such a long time, on the _right track_?–, her body seemed to have adjusted to the new regimen, so Courtney didn't dwell much on it.

And silver lining: she was always prepared for Chris' surprise wake-up calls.

The one thing she could complain about –if she were to take a moment in her joy fest to think about it-, was her situation with Duncan.

Before going back to the show, Courtney knew she had to make a decision; because if before, with Gwen lurking around and all the attention turned on them, it had been compelling that she sorted out her feelings for the delinquent, it was so even more now that she was about to actually see him again. She knew she had to make a resolve, and stick to it.

So she had sat herself down, thought long and hard, and finally accepted to herself that she _was_ attracted to Duncan… but that it was nothing to lose the competition over.

And, with this in mind, she had set off.

The first few challenges had gone well enough; anger was what had fueled her during those first weeks. Her mind was still filled with memories of him and Gwen, of the humilliation he had made her go through, and the misery she wanted to make him feel in return. She hadn't hesitated in showing him she _knew_ what he had done and she wasn't about to make this easy on him.

Then a few weeks into the competition, the anger started melting, and she slowly began to forgive him. But she wasn't lying to Bridgette before; this time, when -_if_- they got back together, it would be on her own terms. And she could see it was only a matter of time until he came begging for her to take him back.

As for her? She was strong on her resolve. Her feelings were like a switch; she could turn them on and off to her liking. She could simply 'forget' her feelings for Duncan long enough to go through a challenge, then bring them back to influentiate _his_.

So what _was_ the problem, you may ask, if she had such control over herself and everything was going so perfect?

The problem was, plainly and simply, _her_.

Courtney couldn't shake off a feeling she was experiencing, a feeling very similar to being made of steel. The other's opinion of her didn't get to her; her sleep deprivation didn't affect her; even her ex-boyfriend's attempts at winning her back didn't get to her.

That was the only word she could think of to decribe it; _steely_. Cold, unyielding, artificial steel.

Of course, she recognized these thoughts as foolish- why on earth would it bother her that everything was perfect? These were mere things she only ever noticed when she slowed down and really thought about things.

Like at lunchtime, when Chris and Chef were running around fixing up stuff for the challenges, and the other castmates ate in the hall, while she sat in the kitchen eating her lobster all by her lonesome. And thought.

Thought about all the setbacks she was finding, that went from the other castmates to herself. And how they wouldn't stop her from winning, because she was still better than every last one of them.

And how, past all the setbacks, she was _perfectly_ happy.

* * *

Harold sat alone outside the girls' trailer, tuning out their arguing as he worked something out in his head. He wondered if he was the only one who had noticed Owen's suspicious behaviour—to him, it was obvious, but then again, all the others didn't have his astounding observation skills.

He was toying with different ideas, that went from food poisoning to alien abduction, and writing down on his handy notepad.

Suddenly, he stood up and let out an epiphanic gasp, hoping for an actual epiphany to come to his rescue. When nothing came after a few seconds, he closed his mouth and sat back down. "Nope, nothing."

After several more minutes of thinking, he gave up. The only thing sure to him was that Owen was sabotaging the teams, but he wasn't sure why. He decided to go see what Duncan thought of it. He closed his notepad and left in direction to the boys' trailer.

"Duncan, I need…-" was all he got out before he stopped dead on his tracks by the threshold, eyes wide.

Duncan and Owen were sitting on the floor on the center of the trailer, looking to have been deep in conversation before Harold arrived.

"What is it, Doris?" asked Duncan, clearly annoyed. "We're kinda having a _conversation_ here," he added signalling the space between him and Owen.

And suddenly, it was all clear to Harold.

"You…You…You two are conniving! I can see it now- It's all a conspiracy! _Gosh_! I'm surrounded by traitors! Surrooouunded!!" Harold exited the trailer screaming, leaving behind two puzzled castmates.

Well, rather, one puzzled castmate and an uncomfortable-looking one.

"Um… okay, that was _weird_," Owen laughed nervously. "Harold really has no idea what he's talking about, eh Ducan? Yep, he's just one big nutjob… guy. Hey, is that a door?"

"Stop right there, big guy," Duncan commanded, keeping him from slipping away by grabbing the back of his shirt. "You were telling me something, remember? Something _important_."

"Me, telling you something?" he responded, fiddling with his fingers. "What could _I_ know that would interest _you_? I don't know anything! Nothing I shouldn't know!"

Duncan hung his head and sighed heavily, about to lose his patience. "You started saying something about Courtney and Bridgette." Owen's jumpiness, naturally, hadn't gone unnoticed by Duncan; but frankly, he could care less about what he could be hiding, as long as he got through with what he'd started to tell him.

Owen racked his brain for the memory, and then it dawned on him. "Oh! That! Oh, you wanted to know about _that_!" Owen flopped back down on the floor with relief, going back to his carefree self. "Okay, it may just be a rumor, but this is what I heard in Playa de Losers. Apparently…"

_--Enter Owen's doodle-like story-telling sequence—_

"…_Courtney manipulated Bridgette to take her side on the whole Gwen vs. Trent extravaganza."_

_A Doodly Courtney is seen whispering in a Doodle Bridgette's ear._

"_And that's why Bridgette was so mad at Gwen on the two Aftermaths."_

_Doodle Bridgette is seen yelling at a Gwen Doodle._

"_Then Courtney left to Vancouver without telling anyone, and Bridgette got really worried."_

_Bridgette Doodle is biting her nails._

"_Meanwhile, Gwen got to her and told her _her_ side of the story. Bridgette realized Courtney had lied in a bunch of stuff, and when she got back from Vancouver she confronted her. They had a big fight and then Courtney told her the truth."_

_Courtney Doodle: Bridgette, I never cared for you. I was only using you to have someone stand up for me 'till I got back on the show, and now that I have, you're no longer of any use to me._

"_Bridgette was sad, but Gwen consoled her and now they're friends again. That was why Bridgette wasn't there to say goodbye to Courtney when she left."_

_--End Owen's doodle-like story-telling sequence—_

"Wow," said Duncan, taking in the new information. He had actually wondered if Courtney had been able to keep her only friend from the show, or if her brand new attitude had awarded her everyone's estrangement.

If what Owen said was true, then that answered his questions, and it also meant that he wasn't the only one that had noticed Courtney's change. It wasn't just him that was all crazy paranoid because his sort-of girlfriend was changing on him, it was everyone that had noticed something was wrong with her. And that fact alone changed a lot of stuff.

He shook his head, leaving those thoughts for later. "So, uh, what was she doing in Vancouver?" he asked in an attempt to keep the conversation going.

"There are different versions," Owen answered. "Most of us think she went to watch her final trial, or supervise her lawyers or something. Ezekiel has a theory that she ran away for a while to unwind," he chuckled, "And then one of the interns came up with the story that she had fired her lawyers and went up against Chris herself. But how likely is _that_?"

Duncan didn't return the laugh. "So she left without telling anyone?" That wasn't like her, but then again, he would have thought a lot of what she'd done on the last two weeks wasn't like her.

"I think she left a letter," Owen said, digging up the memory. "But it was strange and left Bridgette even more worried, for some reason. She didn't let anyone else read it, so I don't know." Owen finished the story and watched Duncan's reaction attentively. Despite everything, he considered the punk a friend; and though he wasn't a big fan of Courtney, he _was_ a fan of Courtney and Duncan together.

"That's messed up," Duncan said lamely, in order to fill the silence. In reality he was deep in thought.

Owen got up. "Well… I'll leave you to think. And I suposse I should go talk to…–No not Chris! W-what would make you think that!" he laughed nervously, turning fidgety once again. Without more ado, he left the trailer in a hurry, presumably to _not_ go talk to Chris.

Duncan barely noticed at all.

He stayed motionless for a few moments, as if considering something. Then he got up and went to his bed, sat down, and dug under his pillow to take out one of his most treasured, secret posessions; his picture of Courtney.

It was a simple portrait of her in her everyday outfit, with her regular perfect brown hair, and smiling her usual cute, deceivingly innocent smile. He had gotten it one day in Playa de Losers, when they were looking at some pictures she had brought from home, because he wanted to see what her family looked like.

Duncan had asked her for this picture, alledging every guy should have at least one picture of their girlfriend. She had smiled evilly, brought her face close to his, and whispered that that was great, but that she was _not_ his girlfriend.

He had simply snatched the picture later on.

He was almost positive she knew he had it –Courtney held all memories as something sacred, and that of course included photographs; besides, with her natural neatness, she must've known she was missing one of her belongings-, but she had never told him anything, which Duncan considered as her way of allowing him to keep it.

And now, whenever he was alone in the boys' trailer, he couldn't help but to take it out and just look at it… drowning in memories.

Yes, he knew it was pathetic. It was as if he was the soldier fighting some war in a country far away, and she the wife he hadn't seen in years; instead of her being just a couple of feet away, and seeing her every single day. Still, the distance was the same; not physical, but emotional.

Ever since she had come back to the game, twice as cutthroath, ruthless and competitive as in the first season, she had been nearly irrecognizable to Duncan.

Because, it wasn't like she hadn't always been difficult. And proud. And a master at crushing his spirits.

But now… now she was simply out of control.

She was using her lawyers to get her unfair privileges. She was paying no mind to the fact that everybody hated her. She was distrustful, agressive and unyielding. She was even using his feelings for her as a tool to get further in the game.

And then there was the whole Justin deal, the way she was leading him on on the princess challenge. Duncan would never say it, but he found that course of action slutty; almost as if she had become a new Heather.

Was this the same girl that had teamed up with him to steal food from their evil dictators that fateful night? Who had thrown all preconceptions out of the window to let loose for just one night? The same girl whose world he thought he'd changed?

He couldn't see the Courtney in front of him right now and see her as that person. He couldn't imagine This Courtney keeping a wooden skull just because he had made it for her and he couldn't imagine This Courtney proclaiming she would never forget him, at the top of her lungs to the whole viewing audience.

Duncan didn't want to think he had misjudged her in the past. No, he preferred to think she had changed _now_, and that she could go back to they way she was.

And Duncan –completely oblivious to the general opinion that he was trying too hard on Courtney and that he was too good for her and that she didn't deserve him and such- thought he wasn't trying hard enough.

Deep inside, he had the certainty that all it took to get her back to the way she was –the way _they were_-, was a little extra effort on his part; that would do the trick, and the one thing that kept him from doing it was his pride.

And he was perfectly concious of that; his pride wouldn't let him _beg_ Courtney, even if it _would_ fix his relationship with her up.

Duncan's eyes widened as he heard someone approaching outside the trailer. He quickly tucked the picture safely under his pillow and waited. Whoever was outside had now walked away, and Duncan concluded it had been an intern. He let out a breath, relieved, and looked down.

Was it _really_ pride, or was it fear that he may do his best, exhaust all his tactics, and she still wouldn't come around?

He took the picture halfway out of its hiding place.

Duncan would never say it outloud. But all he ever really wanted was for things to be the way they used to.

* * *

Harold entered the girls' trailer just as he had exited the boys': screaming bloody murder. "Owen's a traitor! Owen's a traitooooor!"

"Hey, don't you knock? This is the _girls'_ trailer!" Courtney chided, jolting up from her top bunk bed.

Beth also looked up, annoyed, from her bottom bunk on the opposite side of the trailer. Both girls had finished arguing and broken off their alliance a few minutes ago, and now they had been giving each other the silence treatment, until Harold barged in.

"Owen's a traitor!" the redhead continued, undisturbed. "And now he's sucked Duncan into his web of lies! We have to vote him off!"

Courtney jumped out of the bed. "Harold, what is this nonsense about? And what did you say about Duncan?"

"Owen's sabotaging that challenges, I'm sure of it!" he told her, as Beth also rose and joined them.

"And how do you draw that conclusion?" Courtney methodically, skeptic at his claims but also not wanting to miss out on any bit of information.

"He was the only one out of my sight when the spaceship window broke. I'm convinced he broke it," he said.

"Just because you didn't _see_ him?" Courtney asked skeptically. "Don't you think it's more likely that- oh, I don't know, _Chris_ broke that window?"

"Impossible. We were on the air at the time, and he was far away, he couldn't have reacted so swiftly." Harold retorted immediately. "Besides, my nun-chucks disappeared after that and later I found them outside the ship. They were obviously what was used to break the window, and I had them _with _me at the time, so somebody inside had to throw them _out_."

Courtney paused and considered this. "Is that all the proof you've got?" she asked finally.

"Well no, I've noticed him acting strange for days. Ever since he came back even."

That last sentence triggered something in Courtney's brain. She stored it in the back of her mind to revise later.

"You know, Owen is my friend," Beth spoke up. "And I would never, _ever_ think ill of him… but how could I doubt _you_ when you get all detectivesque, Harold! If you say we have to vote him off, I will!" she finished in an adoring voice, attempting to draw him in with what she thought were flirty eyes.

It had the opposite effect, and Harold's eyes suddely grew large and reflected the instinct to get the hell out of there. "Uh, okay. Great," he said as he hurredly retreated. "Think about it, Courtney!" he finished before he slammed the door.

Courtney had already turned his back on them when Beth started 'flirting'. The shorter girl turned to her with a beaming smile. "I make him so nervous!" she said in a surprised tone.

Courtney rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Are you actually going to vote for Owen?" she asked, taking advantage of the fact that she seemed to have forgotten she was mad at her, and also to get her to stop talking about her new crush.

Beth laughed. "Nah. Didn't you hear all the stupid things Harold was saying? I just said that so he'd feel he was my hero. Sometimes, you gotta butter guys up," she said expertly.

If Courtney didn't have so much class, she would have taken her finger to her mouth and pretended to gag, instead of just shaking her head like she did at the other brunette's 'relationship advice'. Seriously, she could not conceive how someone could be _that_ deep in denial.

After Harold's interruption, the girls went back to minding their own business. Once back on her bed, Courtney remembered the thought she had stacked away and tried to summon it.

What had Harold said…? Oh yeah, something about Owen's return. Courtney remembered that when Chris had said Owen had filed a lawsuit against the show just like her, that had sounded strange. She hadn't pegged him as that kind of guy; no, he didn't have the guts.

What if Harold was right? What if Owen _was_ sabotaging the other contests? What if he was part of a plan of Chris' they didn't know about?

Courtney glanced at her PDA, an idea forming in her head. After a moment's consideration, she grabbed the device, jumped out of bed and exited the trailer, before Beth could ask her where she was going.

Once outside, she punched a number she knew by heart and waited for someone to pick up.

"_Fleckman_," said the man on the other end.

"Fleckman, it's Courtney," she answered. "I need you to look into something for me. And keep it subtle- if you know what I mean."

* * *

"Castmates, cast your votes."

The characteristic tension of the Gilded Chris ceremony hung in the air as the contestants voted.

Courtney was about to vote, when she noticed the camera turned right on her. "Back off! There's a reason this is called secret voting people." And then made her vote.

Up on the stage, Chris got the results. "And the gilded Chris goes to…" he started. "Beth."

"Yay!" Beth cried as she received her award.

"Duncan."

Duncan smiled as he was tossed his Gilded Chris.

"Aaaand…" Chris continued, watching his victims' expressions.

Harold was shivering and had his hands over his ear, not wanting to hear anything.

Courtney sat with her eyes narrowed, arms crossed, and her body completely still.

Owen sat uncomfortably, eyes darting around, wondering if word had spread about his position on the show.

"Courtney!" The brunette received her award with a satisfied smile.

"Sorry, Harold," Chris said, not looking sorry at all. "Your lame-o-sine awaits."

The host then lowered to escort the sulking redhead to the vehicle. "But, Owen's the traitor!" he protested.

"Oh, I'm gonna take care of that in a second," Chris said as Chef pushed Harold headfirst into the lame-o-sine.

"I'll wait for you Harold!" Beth cried out.

Harold directed his eyes to the sky. "Haven't I suffered enough!?"

Owen approached the host. "Uh, Chris? I think you forgot to give me _my_ Gilded Chris."

"I don't think so Owen," Chris said. "You've been fired."

"What?" the blonde cried. "Bu-but- I thought you said it didn't matter Harold knew!"

"_I said_ we were fine as long as _Courtney_ didn't find out. Now we have all the weight of the law over us! And I can't risk another lawsuit," he said through gritted teeth. "So you get. Inside. _That_. _**Limo**_!"

By the way Chris' eyes were popping out of their sockets, Owen didn't dare disobey him, and quickly enter the vehicle, offering a cheeky grin. Chris slammed the door after the two eliminated contestants, and then turned to the camera with is regular smile on.

"And so we go from the final five, to the final three! Tune in next week for the most dramatic episode yet of Total. Drama. Action!"

* * *

"Well whaddya know? Harold was right," Beth commented as she and Courtney entered the trailer together, already in their night clothes.

"I _did_ know," Courtney remarked. "_I'm_ the one who got Owen kicked off."

Beth gave her a weird look. "But I thought you voted for Harold."

"Oh I did," she said, assuming a proud stance. "But I had my lawyers investigate Owen, and they comfirmed my suspicions: he never filed a lawsuit against the show, Chris had him come back. I confronted Chris about it, and told him I'd tell everyone if he didn't do something about it. Then I voted for Harold, and _voilá_- two contestants, out of the way." She finished her story with her head held high and a superior smirk.

She opened her eyes when she received no answer, and saw Beth sitting on her bed looking deep in thought. "Beth?" she demanded. "Are you listening to me!?"

Beth looked up, with worried eyes. "Do you think I'm making a mistake?" she asked.

"Excuse me?"

"Going for Harold. Do you think it's worth it for me to leave Brady?"

"Oh dear God," Courtney breathed, turning to climb to her bed.

"I mean, what if I'm doing the wrong thing?" Beth continued, jumping out of the bed. "Like, oh my God, he's gonna watch the episode in a couple of days! He's gonna think I don't love him anymore! Courtney, I need to call him, can I use you PD-"

"No you _can't_ use my PDA!" Courtney snapped, whipping her head around. "I am not letting you use my _real_ credit to call your _fake_ boyfriend!"

Beth stepped back, looking up at the CIT as she flopped down on her bed, giving a huff. The geeky girl then lowered her head, gave a short sigh, and turned around without saying anything.

Courtney raised her head curiously to peer at the suddenly quiet girl. She looked truly troubled as she went slowly in direction of the door to turn off the lights. The CIT shrugged mentally, ceasing to care, and lay her head back on her pillow without closing her eyes. She was staring at the wall of the trailer when the lights went out, and the room became another in the darkness.

Courtney listened to Beth's barefoot steps on the floor, and then the creaks of her bed as she climbed on it; and envied how in a few minutes, she would be far away in Dreamland.

Courtney always considered that her clearest moments were at night. Simply because the day was already over, and you could look back on the events with objectivity, and chances are that you won't even remember your thoughts in the morning.

It was during this time that Courtney's mind started replaying the happenings of the day; bringing forward every possible mistake she had made throughout the day and tearing it to shreds with reprimands, until she caved in and swore to herself that tomorrow she would be a little bit more perfect.

She was so used to it that she didn't even fight it anymore.

She found it had become more frequent and sterner than ever before since she had come back to Total Drama Action; nowadays, her thoughts were so loud and raw that they made it hard to sleep.

Courtney stirred, trying to clear the noise, but in doing that, she suddenly became concious that the noise wasn't coming from inside her head.

Her eyes shot open and she rolled over, propping herself up on her elbow. Her eyes comfirmed what her ears had heard a seconds ago; Beth was sobbing.

The girl had her eyes shut, but spams raked through her body, as she tried to sob and inhale from her runny nose at the same time, creating a wet-sounding effect.

Courtney watched the pitiful scene in bewilderment. She deduced the girl was just letting off some steam, but still; the fact that she was openly bawling when she _knew_ Courtney could hear her… that finished convincing the CIT that her roommate had no self-love or sense of pride whatsoever.

Courtney returned to her original position, trying to block out the noise.

Half an hour later, the crying had thankfully subdued. But Courtney still couldn't sleep.

During that time, she had gone over all the happenings since the first Aftermath show, she had thought of the reasons why Beth might've been crying, and she had at one point wondered how Bridgette was doing… and she still could not manage to fall asleep.

Courtney heaved a sigh, feeling suffocated in her sheets.

She wasn't just _tired_. She was tired and frustrated trying to fall asleep, tired of tossing and turning over and over again, tired of the nights growing longer and longer.

Sometimes she wondered if she did this too herself, all the sleepless nights. This torture to herself, this… saboaging herself.

It wouldn't be anything new, either. Oh no, this was older than time.

It was in school when she signed herself up for a dozen extra-curricular activities, and then stressed over having too much to do in such little time. It was in New Year's when she made herself a list of unrealistic resolutions, and then hated herself for not achieving them. It was every single day when she acted mean to other people, thus making herself be hated.

She finally opened her eyes and sat up on her bed. She took a deep breath, feeling her chest was too small for all the air she was trying to take in, and ran a hand through her hair.

Twisted. Everything about her was messed up, ruined or twisted. She didn't know what was wrong with her, nor did she have the energy to try and find out anymore.

She looked at Beth's fast asleep form below her.

She really just wanted to feel alright again. Then again she had no idea how to make _that_ happen.

Courtney considered exiting the trailer, considered staying out on the forest and waiting for sunrise, skipping on trying to fall asleep altogether… but the instinct won; she knew she'd regret it in the morning, when she was tired and less productive.

So she crawled back under the covers with slow reluctance, back to the darkness where she couldn't hide from her thoughts.

* * *

-Yeah, I changed the other of eliminations so I didn't have to make an extra challenge.

-The first and the last part, were they too rant-ish? Did you read it complete or just skimmed through it?

-Detectivesque. Did I invent that word?

_ ~The Lighthouse_


	7. Teaser: Many A True Word

This is a teaser. It was going to be one of the possible openings for chapter 7, but since it didn't fit well with the rest of the chapter, and since the whole chapter was taking long enough, I thought… _hey, why don't I update this alone?_… and so here we are =B

* * *

**~The Machine~**

**# ****Teaser:** Many A True Word...** #**

A normal morning in the girls' cabin was Courtney bolting out of bed immediately after waking up, while Beth stayed soundly asleep on her bed. The CIT would then wander around to kill time before breakfast, and she was usually the first one up.

Today though, she had competition.

Courtney drowsily exited the trailer with a change of clothes tucked on one arm. She gently rubbed one eye and tried to accomodate her bed hair –limp from hours of tossing and turning-, as her sleepy mind took in what she was seeing.

Not three feet away, there was Duncan in front of the door to the little cabin Chef Hatchet usually slept at. He was fumbling with the lock, most likely trying to bust it open.

Courtney instinctively frowned. She approached the red-handed delinquent, and when he didn't notice her presence, she made herself be heard. "What are you doing?"

"Gah!" Duncan jumped in alarm, before turning around and seeing the face that belonged to the snobby voice. "_Shh_!" he then reprimanded her.

Courtney raised an eyebrow, insulted at the treatment, and still waiting for an explanation. Meanwhile, Duncan pulled the metal stick out of the lock, and went closer to her. "I'm trying to get some real _food_ before everyone wakes up," he whispered.

"And you're gonna get it from Chef's cabin?" she whispered back, eskeptically.

"He keeps his fridge under lock and chain now," he explained. "And I'm pretty sure he keeps the key with him." He gestured to the cabin behind him.

Courtney rolled her eyes. "Well, have fun with your pillaging," she said as she turned around to leave.

"Hey," he stopped her. She turned her head. He was smirking. "Wanna join me? You know… for old times' sake?"

Courtney scoffed. "Please. As if I want to repeat _that_ experience." She then resumed walking away.

"Riight, I forgot" he said after her, hands on his pockets. "Now you're at the level of _lobster_, good ol' peanut butter just doesn't do it for you anymore."

Courtney ignored his last statement and went in direction of the communal bathroom. Duncan shrugged and went back to working the lock.

The brunette was halfway to the bathroom when, for some reason, she stopped and turned around. She saw Duncan concentrated on operating the door; any second now he would open it, she knew. Then he would have to quietly enter the cabin, hold his breath as he got the key, possibly from around Chef's neck, leave silently, raid the fridge, and then indulge himself in his loot and the exhilarating feeling of an –_illegal_- job well done.

_As if I want to repeat that experience_, her own words were thrown back on her face. Right. As if she wanted to live a mind-bogglingly exciting, heart-changing adventure next to the only person who had ever in her life made her feel _free_.

Courtney then caught herself and shook her head furiously. She immediately blamed the sneaking thought on her sleepiness –in reality, it partly was, because she would have never let her thoughts go there had she been of sound mind and body-, turned on her heel and sped towards the bathroom.

Around this time, Duncan paused from his work for a second time, and looked up at the CIT, who was quickly walking away from him.

He thought back about his last words to her, and against his better judgement, he started to regret them.

True, at first sight it was an innocent tease; and true, Courtney hadn't seemed at all affected by it… but Duncan had to supress a shudder when he thought of the meaning behind that sentence.

Sometimes the greatest truths peek from among jokes and teases. That was a fact of nature nobody understood better than Duncan: about half of the biggest development his relationship with Courtney had had, half of the episodes that had allowed him to know her as well as he did, had happened while they were teasing each other.

The other half had been the rare and fleeting heart-to-hearts, but that was not the case.

The case was that he knew –and he knew _she_ knew- that his joke hadn't just been a simple joke; it was the truth. _He was_ the peanut butter, and Courtney the lobster that thought she was too good for him. Ever since she had come back, she acted like she was above him; like she had moved on without him, and simply left him behind.

Many would say it was because she was still bitter about the 'Gwen' thing. That was probably true but, honestly, Duncan wouldn't know. They had never actually discussed the incident properly. She never gave him a chance to.

She answered with evasives, she put on a mask of anger and let nothing else get through, and he had never gotten a glimpse of what it was that was really bothering her.

It made sense, too— back when they were together the heart-to-heart's were rare, so what made him think he was getting one now they were broken up?

It was almost as if she was trying to hurt him. Scratch that— that was _totally_ what she was doing. He didn't know how she could manage to do that so... flawlessly. He knew _he_ would never be able to torture her like she was torturing him.

And she? She thought she could just go on dissing him, and he'd be there, following like a lost puppy, hanging on her every word.

And you know what the worst part was?

That it was kinda true.

* * *

That's all for now. I'll update chapter 7 as soon as I can.

_~The Lighthouse_


	8. I Never Expected This

Well. Since I updated the original opening scene as a teaser last time, I was worried about this chapter being short. Then I got ideas on the way and it turned out to be the longest yet XP.

BUT, I promised myself I would include… _a certain scene_… in this here chapter, so I left it uber-long.

For those of you wondering, I took _even looonger than usual_ because I've been busy studying for an insane number of tests, running around town fundraising, and I also wanted this to be particularly perfect :). Plus I wrote and then erased like half of this chapter because it didn't fit with the _really important_ part— I could probably make a whole new fic with all the deleted scenes from this one… Maybe I will *plotting stance.*

Mail time! :3

**Nitachi**: I don't remember if I replied to you 0.o… but in case I haven't thanks a lot for the review x3. This _is_ slightly AU though, but it's still in the cannon TDA universe which I think is what you meant, so thank you- that's exactly what I'm trying to do.

**Frank15**: Ooh, you soon will see my dear, MWAHAHAHAHA.

xD Seriously though, I was starting to get worried nobody wondered on the title 0.o… I'm a little relieved now.

There _is_ a plan, don't worry ;)

**italiachick13**: Well you see, when I say 'America', I really mean the _continent_ –that includes Canada. She wanted to bes lawyers in the continent. I'll take that detail in account though, it could cause misunderstandings in the future.

**CarmillaD**: Nada más te voy a decir como siempre gracias por la hermosa review :3 y que tu comentario sobre el video del Aftermath lo tuve en la cabeza mientras escribía este capítulo ;) …. Aunque ahora lo leo de nuevo y me doy cuenta que capaz que no se nota o.o… Ufa. Bueno, vos sabelo, si? xD

**Iandin123**: Awww, shoot I'm sorry I probably didn't update in time xP Believe me, I tried… u.u I do dedicate this chapter to you though, and hopefully it'll be something to cheer you up for when you get _back_. Erm… can I know what you're in the hospital for? *ish worried*

* * *

**~The Machine~**

**# ****Chapter 7:** I Never Expected This** #**

Willard Cohen was a 43-year-old lawyer of great renown. He was part of the important firm that bore his name, along with three of his associates'. He was also one of the lawyers who worked for Courtney, or, as they affectionately called her in the office, _that screeching little nightmare_.

Long and hard had they wished they didn't have to deal with her, but then, it wasn't as if they could just drop her: they still had her money, that bounded them legally to her, and her father still had their word that they would help her. Michael Bale was a remarkable ally, as well as a dear friend. And this firm –or Cohen, at the very least- kept their promises.

That didn't mean they had never gone out of line, either. The team had long ago started to feign out-of-office replies and sudden vacations, just so they wouldn't have to listen to her complaints; and for when their help was an absolute need, they took turns to respond to her, because otherwise they would all go completely crazy.

The ice treatment had seemed to work, because Courtney had hardly called at all lately.

The birds were chirping and the sun was barely peeking from over the horizon that morning when Cohen arrived to the office, unlocked the door and hung his coat and hat like every other day. Eying his surroundings, he was surprised to find a neat and quantious letter already waiting for him on his desk at that early hour.

His surprise turned to dread when he found it was from the nightmare herself.

He cursed under his breath. It was _his_ turn to answer her.

Never one to postpone business, Cohen relunctantly sat down and opened the letter. Inside he found a note from Courtney explaining that she wanted them to look over a contract, and said contract enclosed. She also asked them to please transcribe the latter document, since the original was handwritten, and to keep a copy with them.

Feeling a sense of relief at the simple instructions -and at the unusually good mood the note let see through-, but knowing he should not sing his praises yet, Cohen started reading over the contract.

His first surprise came when he realized the document was not directed at Chris, like he had expected, but at another contestant. Her fellow castmate, Duncan.

Now, Duncan was a name Cohen was familiar with. Even if it wasn't for his pre-teen daughter's incessant chattering of the _most famous couple _of the Total Drama series, he could easily identify him as his evil client's love interest.

Cohen furrowed his brows as he realized exactly what he was reading. Line after line, page after page of agreements, conditions and restrictions. There were rules dictating in detail what the boy could and could not do, there were pharagraphs specifying every last one of his faults and explaining how to correct them. Cohen couldn't believe it –she had made a contract on their _relationship_.

At first, he felt enraged on behalf of the legal profession –this wasn't a licit document, it was a joke!-, but this was soon outweighed by even bigger bafflement as he read on through increasingly specific demands and ridiculous restrictions.

Unable to believe even his client would have the gall to make another person abide to this, Cohen flew to the end of the contract, to the part of the signatures. There, right below a horizontal line, was the name of the boy, Duncan Robert Mancuso- clearly indicating she had every intention of making him sign.

Cohen took a second to pity the unsuspecting boy. Leaning back on his chair, the only words this eloquent, educated member of the legal system could articulate in that moment were,

"Poor _bastard_."

* * *

The contract had happened by accident.

Beth had asked Courtney in passing that morning if she thought her and Duncan's relationship still had a chance, to which the taller brunette had replied to with indignation and a resounding denial- but which she had nonetheless found herself thinking about later on the day.

She only knew she still had a bunch of unresolved issues with some aspects of Duncan's personality –as she had _always_ had and always would- as well as a few unresolved issues with herself. At the brink of a lake, she had started to listing off in her mind all the things that Duncan would need to change for her to consider him as serious boyfriend material, and suddenly she had thought how much easier and organized this would be if she wrote it down.

She had began writing without even remembering her promise of no writing down her thoughts. But she guessed as long as she didn't go and get mushy like last time, it was alright.

And just in case, she had turned the writing into something far from a diary entry and a little closer to her comfort zone: a contract.

It wasn't until she had finished that it had ocurred to her that this could just be the thing that would mend her and Duncan's relationship.

She had sent it to her lawyers to make it official, and the rest was history.

Courtney figured that once she got it back, she would put it by with the rest of her stuff, stored safely until the day Duncan decided to come around and beg her to take him back, apologizing for everything he'd done, and she considered he'd had enough torturing.

She had no idea of what was coming down in a matter of mere hours.

* * *

"Can someone tell me what we're doing here again?" Duncan grumbled.

"Dimwit here is trying to make us _bond_." Courtney supplied.

The three remaining contestants of Total Drama Action were sitting in a circle around an old box turned upside down, that was their make-shift table for now. Two of them were there by force; the other was forcing them to be there.

Hearing Courtney's statement, Beth's previously enthusiastic face fell. "I really think we should take time to actually get to know each other," she explained emotively. "This is our last week in the competition, and _one_ of us is gonna win, and I don't want there to be any ill feelings when…-"

"Yeah, yeah, okay, just get on with this stupid game," Courtney snapped.

"Okay!" Beth conceded. "So the name of the game is 'I've never'. One of us says something they have never done, like for example, I say… 'I have never been kissed'," she then realized what she had said, and gave the others a misdirected glare. "Which I _have_!" she clarified with a little more force than necessary, snapping her onlookers awake. "And then, if you _have_ done it, you hand in a coin," she placed a quarter on the tattered box. "The person who gets the more coins at the end wins."

Duncan, who had been following the explanation in a daze, took notice of the last part and shook his head. "Wait. What _coins_? That's a drinking game. You play it with beer."

"Uh, there's no beer here, we're all minors, and this is how me and my family have always played it," Beth listed off with a smile.

"Oh _reeally_," Duncan assumed a plotting stance, rubbing his chin with is index finger and getting a mischevious glint on his eyes. "I could just make that change. If I sneak into Chris' trailer, I bet I could get us some alcohol, then we'd have a _real_ party…"

"How is this supossed to bring us together?" Courtney piped up critically.

"Why do you think Chris and Chef would have alcohol?" Beth answered. "And duh, it's supossed to bring us together because we'll all know more about each other."

"How else would Chris stand this camp?" Duncan said. "I bet he comes high to work. That's why he acts like he does. Don't tell me you haven't thought it."

"Like I'm gonna tell you anything about me," Courtney said to Beth, folding her arms over her chest. "Like you're gonna know more about me from a few facts…. Like we're in this contest for knowing people instead of _anything_ other than the money!"

As her tone got increasingly higher and bitterer, a warning bell seemed to go off in Duncan's brain, and he transferred his full attention to Courtney. Said brunette, taking notice of her own outburst, suddenly stopped herself and sat back with a scowl.

"Jeeze, downer!" Duncan said, with an expression that said he really wanted to ask '_Are you okay?_'. "What was _that_ about?"

She rolled her eyes stiffly. "Forget it. Just get this game over with, Beth," she told the other brunette.

"O-kay," she conceded, trying to get over the weirdness. "So I'm giving you each ten coins," she did as she said. "Now who wants to start?"

She was awarded with two idle expressions (although Duncan kept taking concerned little glances at Courtney).

"I'll go!" The wannabe said excitedly. "Let's see. I've… never swam with a dolphin in the ocean." Courtney and Duncan both gave her a weird look. "No one's done that? Okay, that wasn't a very good one. You go, Courtney."

"I don't _know_," she said with a signature frown and eye roll.

"Oh, c'mon!" Beth urged. "I know you can think of _something_."

"_Say_ something," Duncan urged her, blocking out Beth and ignoring she could hear them anyway. "That way this game will be over sooner."

Courtney looked from him to the coins in her hand. "Fine," she conceded. "I've never gone skinny dipping. There."

Beth didn't budge, but Duncan threw three coins on the table. Courtney gave him a look of disgust. "What?" he asked with a smirk. "You're the one who brought it up. Don't ask questions you don't wanna hear the answer of, sweetheart."

"Your turn!" Courtney screeched, to keep him from saying more. "And make it quick."

Duncan assumed a thinking stance. He 'hmmed' boredly for a moment, before he caught sight of Courtney –with a scowl on her face and her arms crossed tightly over his chest, looking as cute as ever-, and his lips tugged into a smirk. "Gee, I don't know… I've never been on a singing contest, talent contest, dancing contest, violin recital or fashion runway."

As he talked, Courtney's eyes had increasingly widened, feeling identified and realizing what he was doing. When he was done, Beth threw in a single coin, explaining, "Singing contest. Once," and smiling sheepishly.

Courtney, meanwhile, counted her coins on the palm of her hand with an unhappy look on her face, and Duncan knew it wouldn't be long until she reached the same conclusion he had. Sure enough, she suddenly looked up at him with a fierce glare on her face, before surrendering all ten of her coins to the table.

Then she stood up in a huff.

"Wait!" Beth called. "Don't you wanna know which of us is gonna win?"

"I've never kissed a guy," Duncan told her.

"…Okay, Duncan wins," Beth said turning in her own coins on the box.

Duncan smirked as he gathered all the coins close to him in a Vegas fashion.

Beth clapped her hands, "Round two!"

Duncan chuckled. "Uh, I don't think so, loser…-"

Suddenly Courtney was on his face. "What's the matter? Don't think you can win this unless I'm not prepared?"

Duncan was taken aback. "_What_? Are you serious?" He took in her fairly serious expression. He frowned, slightly ticked off. "Babe, the only reason I said that was so we could get this stupid game over with!"

"What'd you think, I was born yesterday?" she retorted. "I'm not gonna let you retire now and walk away with the glory, Duncan! So hand out the coins."

"But…-"

"Hand out the coins!"

"_Fine_! I will!" Now completely fed up, Duncan took the coins and divided it between the three of them, internally shaking his head at the situation. Leave it to Courtney to make a competition out of everything and anything.

The brunette in question was holding onto her coins like a lifeline. "You first, Beth. Quick!" she barked.

"Okay, I've got a really talk-provoking one," Beth said delightfully. "I have never changed a diaper."

Courtney froze in the middle of her competitive parade. Duncan, knowing she had a little niece she had taken care hundreds of times before, smirked readily at how Beth had inadvertently frustrated her plans.

With a growl, she slapped all of her coins on the box, followed by Duncan who did the same.

"Rematch!" she demanded.

"No, wait!" Beth stopped her. "You have to tell the story, that's the whole point of the game! Like, _I_'ve never changed a diaper because I'm an only child."

Courtney didn't budge. "I've got a a two-year-old niece, he's got twin baby sisters," she said pointing at Duncan. "Now _rematch!_"

"See? I feel like I know you guys better already!" Beth rejoiced as everyone retrieved their coins. "Okay, I have never, I have never… I have never had a tooth cavity."

Both Duncan and Courtney threw one coin each. Then it was Courtney's turn, and she took it with pleasure.

She straightened her back and cleared her throat. "I have never shoplifted," she declared, looking pointedly at Duncan.

Duncan turned in all of his coins, as he had been prepared to do before he even knew what she'd say. Then he regarded her superior demeanor with a careless expression. "Yeah, you won. You're queen of the world. Kudos."

Her haughtiness turned into fluster and then into a growl, her superior mood completely ruined.

That was just as well, thought Duncan with a grin. He hated it when she got all smug and proud over nothing at all, hated it with unexplainable passion. Sometimes the way she acted made him want to jump into her brain and fish the traits of her that he hated and eliminate them from her system forever. She just drove him crazy like that.

Duncan imagined she felt the same way towards him– I mean come on, anyone with half a brain cell could tell she would jump at the chance to shave off his mohawk, take all of his piercings, change his whole wardrobe and turn him into an respectful member of society. He could see the pressing urgency in her eyes, whenever did something illegal, said something inappropiate, or simply reminded her of his existence by walking into the room.

Duncan turned his attention back to Beth, who was announcing the fourth round while distributing the coins.

The game contunued for a while; sometimes Duncan won, sometimes Courtney did, and sometimes Beth intercepted all of their coins before they got a chance to.

For example, Courtney would say "I have never broken a school rule," and Duncan would have to turn in all of his coins.

Or Duncan would say "I have never been in an extra-curricular activity," and Courtney would automatically lose.

Or, Beth would say something like "I have never thrown a party," and automatically beat the both of them thanks to her inexperience and lack of exposure to the outside world.

The game went on relatively peaceful like this for a while. And then, hell broke lose.

"Round twelve," Beth announced. For an instant, a certain something glinted in her eyes, that neither of her two castmates noted, before she said, "Um, I've never dumped anyone."

It took Courtney two seconds to realize what was wrong with that statement. "Wait," she stopped Duncan from throwing his coins, looking at Beth. "Yes you did. You dumped Bradley, didn't you?" Although she knew there had never been a Bradley or Brainy or Brady in the first place, Courtney wasn't about to let go of anything that might have been a rule violation.

But at this statement, it was as if someone had kicked open a box of lit fireworks. "No, I, didn't!" Beth cried, overjoyed, throwing her arms. "I almost did, but I took it back the next day, and now we're back together, isn't that _great_!?" she chattered on without so much as a pause, blowing her companions away. "Oh my God, I _so_ wanted to tell you, Courtney, but you never ask me about my…" she trailed off at Courtney's held up hand telling her to stop talking.

When she was properly quieted, Courtney lowered her hand. "Um, the reason I don't ask you is that I don't care," she bluntly clarified. "Are we clear?"

"Aww," Beth's face fell. "I wished Lindsay was here." Then her face brightened, "Oh, can I borrow your PDA to call Lin…-?"

"NO!"

"Aww…"

Duncan rolled his eyes as he counted three coins and threw them in the box. By the corner of his eye, he saw Courtney throw an equal amount of coins, and did a double take.

By mutual agreement, when he and Courtney were still together they had shared a list of their past relationships. At first neither had wanted to let go of that information, but in the end the temptation of knowing the other's past conquers had won out.

Because of that, Duncan knew Courtney had had four relationships (or flings) before him, all short-lived and none too special. One of them had ended by mutual agreement, in another there had been a cheating episode –surprisingly, on Courtney's side-, and in the other two she had been the dumper.

So why was she throwing in _three_ coins?

Duncan didn't know why, but he had a bad feeling about what she had just done.

"Okay, my tu…-" Courtney started.

"Hold on," he stopped her, and the mocha-skinned teenager directed her scathing gaze at him. He pointed at one of her coins, the one closer to him. "Who's that one?"

She looked down to where he was pointing. "That one?" she confirmed.

He nodded.

"_That_ would be you," she said non-chalantly.

Even though he should've expected something like this, Duncan chocked on air. "Excuse me?" he exclaimed. "So now you dumped me? Sincen _when_?"

Courtney looked at him dead in the eye. Duncan took the opportunity she was giving him to gaze into her beautiful dark onyx eyes, while a voice in the back of his head was concious that look meant _danger_. "Do you think we're together now?" she asked calmly.

Duncan, taken aback, tried to respond, "Well, no, but…-"

"And _somebody_ has to end a relationship, right?" She didn't wait for an answer. "And if it was up to you we'd still be together, right?"

"I…-" Duncan hesitated, not prepared for the decisive question.

"So there," she finished with a pleased smirk. "We know _who_ decided to end the relationship." Then she turned her head, smiling smugly at no one.

Duncan narrowed his eyes at her. Little bitch _knew_ his real answer was 'yes'. She was perfectly concious that he wanted to get back together, and that she was making him go through Hell waiting for her.

Duncan let out a sardonic, humorless laugh. "Okay fine, if that's how you wanna play it," he said, and then he threw in one extra coin of his own.

Courtney perked at this broad attack, as he knew she would. "Hey—is that supossed to be me!?" she looked at him, found his unconcerned smile, and frowned. "You can't do that!"

"Why not?" he asked, leaning back pleasantly.

"Because you didn't dump me, _I_ dumped _you_!"

Duncan frowned, coming out of his unconcerned pose, and stood up, causing her to do the same on reflex. The punk boy leaned in close to her face. "You didn't dump _me_ either! Nobody dumped anyone!"

"Oh really," Courtney droned. "Then what do you think happened?"

"We spontaneously fell out!"

She scoffed. "We _spontaneously fell out_? Do you even hear yourself talking?"

He jeered. "Well it's hard with all the bullshit coming out of _your_ mouth!"

She shoved a finger on his chest. "If _anyone's_ talking trash here, it's you!"

As a side note, it is worth mentioning that Beth had already taken off by this point, seeing the escalating argument and deducing they would not be resuming their game.

Back to the action.

"Hey, we were still together when I left for the _shhtupid_ second season!" Duncan pointed out.

"Oh, and we were _so totally_ together when I threw you on that jar pit!" Courtney taunted.

"You hit me and tortured me and stabbed me in the back _while_ we were together! Actually I think I'm in less danger now!" Duncan retorted.

Courtney looked at him with rage filling her face, insulted at the claim, and brought out the bigger guns, "And I suposse we were _together_ when you decided to _stoop down_ by hooking up with that _goth_ _wannabe_!"

He rolled his eyes. _Here we go again_. "I did not…-"

"You think we were _together_," she angrily went on, ignoring him, "when I threw all your belongings, everything you ever gave me, and everything that reminded me of you to the trash!"

"HEY! …You threw my stuff?" He asked, his mind just catching up with that last part, thus making him say something entirely different than what he intended to. "…Did you throw the skull?"

She looked at him skeptically. "What skull?" she demanded.

Duncan, not believing what he heard, looked at her searchingly. "The skull I gave you right after you were voted off!" he exclaimed, his bafflement and disappointment momentarily overcoming his sense of pride.

She was unbelievable. How could she have _forgotten_ something like that? She even said she'd never forget. Wasn't '_I'll never forget you_' a sign of '_I'll keep and tresure your last gift, even though I think it's creepy, forever and ever'_?

"Ooh," she said, apparently remembering now. "Yep. I threw that too."

Was that a smug smirk attempting to make its way through her clueless façade?

"Why did you do that!?" he demanded, still not quite catching up with himself.

"Do _you_ normally keep your exes' mementos?" she asked rethorically.

_Yes. Yes I do_, Duncan thought, thinking back to his picture that laid behind his pillow like a dirty little secret.

Seeing his taken aback and almost guilty expression, though ignoring what was going through his mind at the moment, Courtney rolled her eyes haugthingly. "My God, Duncan, move _on_," she spat, and then she turned her back on him, thus missing how his expression suddenly hardened.

That last comment had had a grave effect on Duncan, although he wasn't exactly sure what had particularly pissed him off. Maybe it was the hint of morbid delight she seemed to get from hurting him.

Maybe it was simply the fact that she was acting as if she called the shots in this relationship, when it should've been him.

Or maybe because deep down, he knew she didn't mean it, and it made him furious that she still said it.

_Move on_. Those words had been spoken so contemptuously, so effortlessly, that they would have fooled a smarter man. But Duncan, he knew what he knew. He knew Courtney, he knew their relationship, and knew it had been perfect –perfect in everything that really counted-, and he couldn't begin to see where it had gone wrong.

Duncan was sure it was his rage taking the best of him, but right now he couldn't remember why he didn't just grab her by the shoulders and ask her straight out why she was being such a bitch. Without leaving room for pondering, he decided.

Screw his doubts. He wanted _answers._

"Is this all because of Gwen?" he demanded, the forceness of his voice surprising the both of them. "Because you think I hooked up with her? Huh? Is that what this is all about? Or is there something else?" He concluded, and for a split second he thought he had her cornered.

Then she whipped around.

"Stop flattering yourself," she spat cruelly, the hardness in her eyes matching his. "Who's to say I'm even dwelling on that? Who's to say I didn't just lose interest in you and you're making all this fuss about nothing?"

Duncan didn't widen his eyes or lean back in disbelief or yell at her; instead he kept his expresionless gaze on her, on her firmly proud and seemingly unregretful form, and he didn't think he had ever been this dissapointed of someone, or this scared, ever before.

"Well?" He asked gravely, slowly, his terrible gaze still locked on her. "_Is_ that the reason?"

Silence rung in the air. Courtney stared back at Duncan, the look of hesitation in her face making it seem like she couldn't quite grasp what he had just said. She knew herself cornened _now_.

The thick silence was prolongued for a while, until Courtney suddenly shot forward, lunging straight for Duncan's lips.

Duncan felt his heart rise to his throat and his stomach drop as soon as their lips made contact. A wave of emotions washed over him, the most prominent of which being _relief_.

As always with Courtney's kisses, it was over too soon. She pulled away, but kept their faces close together, enough to feel their breaths on each other's faces, and that was when he discovered that her hands were cupping his face, and that his own had come to rest at her hips somewhere along the line.

This was about the time Duncan also found out he had a thoroughly stupid look plastered on his face, looking down at her dumbfounded, lips slightly parted and replaying what had just happened in his mind.

Duncan half-heartedly cursed her in his mind. She _always_ did this kind of thing unexpectedly, so that at the end he was left a gaping, giddy idiot, devoted to her will like a lovesick puppy. And she… she always seemed to know exactly what she was doing.

Courtney was currently holding his cheek with one hand, and using the other to caress the back of his neck, stroking the short hairs at the end of his buzz cut. Her half-clouded eyes were focused on his lips, and she was biting her own, as if yearning to kiss him again.

_Yes. Please. Go ahead_, he encouraged her in his mind. In truth, a part of him still wanted to grab by the shoulders and shout '_What the hell just happened?_', but it didn't really matter. The bigger part kept him there, hands on her hips, hypnotized by her sweet breath on his face and the feeling of her heart beating fast against his chest; eagerly waiting to see how this would turn out.

Courtney spoke, immediately gaining his full attention. "Duncan, why don't we just…" she paused, faltering. "Just forget everything… and start over?" she proposed softly, looking up into his eyes at the last part, and he understood exactly what she meant.

She meant forget about Gwen, about the dubious story of their so-called hook-up, forget about what she thought had happened and what he said had happened. Forget about the competition, about the friction they had had since the season started, about their fights and misunderstandings and falling out's.

And just start all over.

Duncan gulped, trying to make his heart descend from his throat. He affectionately circled his arms around her waist, pulling her closer, and nodded slowly, as in a trance. "I'd like that," he said softly, all he trusted himself to say without his voice breaking.

Then he lifted her head to deposit a felt kiss on her lips. It was softer and sweeter than the first one, which had been rough and desperate and exciting. He found he didn't have a clear memory of that kiss, unexpected as it had been.

Upon separating for the second time, Duncan realized for the first time how serious Courtney looked. Well, serious for a girl who would normally in this situation be smiling smugly at the power she had over him.

She looked crossed, as if still debating what she had done in her mind. Maybe she didn't completely agree with it. Maybe she had kissed him on impulse back then, not being really able to control herself. If that was the case, it was a new sight for Duncan; everything she did usually had an ulterior motive.

It just seemed like it was a day of oddities today, what with this and before when she made a point of staying close together after she kissed him, instead of separating immediately. Duncan liked it. It made him feel like she needed him as much as he needed her.

"But Duncan?" her voice made him come back to Earth. She sounded like she was struggling to keep her voice firm. "You have to promise me some things."

Duncan just looked at her inquiringly, waiting for her to elaborate.

At the time, he had no idea what she had in store for him. He could only guess it had to do with Gwen, about not making her get suspicious by getting too close to other girls, and for all it was worth, he was okay with that. But really, even if he had whole-heartedly disagreed with what she was asking, he would have had a hard time saying no.

Because, to put it plain and simple, this wasn't just _any_ girl… this was _Courtney_ they were talking about.

Courtney, the girl who had given him more trouble, things to think about, stress and sleeless things than any other girlfriend of his combined; the girl he had been waiting for for what seemed like an eternity; that girl was now in his arms, present the possibility of never letting go.

Duncan knew he would have given her anything she asked for in that moment. She was talking in a soft whisper less that an inch away from his lips. She was looking up at him with beautiful big, pleading eyes. She was beautiful, so close to him under the moonlight, and he loved her.

How could he have denied her?

Duncan nodded, accepting. "Okay," he said.

And so Duncan sealed his destiny.

Courtney exhaled, relieved, and then embraced him. Duncan let a smile grow on his face as he hugged back, happy to have made her happy, though not entirely understanding the consequences.

In the semi-darkness, with her head resting on her newly reconciled boyfriend's shoulder, Courtney's triumphal smile appeared slightly diabolic.

* * *

The 'I never' game idea originally came from a Frasier episode, where they called it 'I'm the dullest person ever (because)…'.

_ ~The Lighthouse_


	9. The Second Letter

Remember the old days when I updated weekly? Trying to go back to them… .

**kagome-inu5**: THANK YOU! 'Aww' is what I was going for! ^^

**iandin123**: Ooh, I get it. Hope your friend's okay :)

Haha, I just felt the urge to cackle like a maniac back there :D

**Frank15**: Oh, the Beth thing came on its own really… just thought she'd try something like that :). But I loved how you just summarized Courtney's situation there xD. I know, but watching Courtney it makes me wonder how so many people can hate her— I mean sure, she has her flaws, _many many flaws_… but she has good intentions, and it'd be so easy to love her if they gave her a chance… but Duncan and Bridgette are the only ones who seem to agree :(

**CarmillaD**: Nonono, gracias a vos por dejarme reviews ;)… Me alegro, me alegro, pero me re alegro que te haya gustado. 'Inesperada' es exactamente como quería que fuera la reconciliación, en especial la parte en que Courtney lo besa de pronto, como si sintiera que es el único camino lógico que le queda para salir de esa situación incómoda :| o algo así quise hacer. Bueno, espero que con lo que viene pueda satisfacer tus preguntas, jaja :)

By the way you guys— I loved, loved, _**loved**_ the TDWT Premiere! Maybe it's just cuz the TDA Special left me with such low hopes for this season but… OHMIGOD! The cast! The drama! The _SINGING_! What else can you ask for? ^^

The Courtney-Duncan-Gwen interaction was _exactly_ as I'd foreseen, which is a weird feeling because usually –and by what I've seen in forums and places, the sentiment is shared- they never seem to go the way we expect them to xD

I also love Noah coming back, I love Ezekiel coming back (and his newfound drive with his old naiveté), Alejandro and the part he plays (which is also exactly as I thought it'd be) and Sierra.

Something I noticed (in the Special too) was Courtney getting more screen time. Like, you know how in Camp TV there were eight main characters and then '_the rest_' and they changed it in TDI and made it more homogeneous, yet there're still some characters that appear more than others- you know, Gwen, Duncan, Heather, Izzy, Leshawna-, and Courtney was always one of the secondary characters (TDI elimination order stigma, no doubt). But now she's thrust more into foreground, like, she has more dialogues, plays a bigger part, etc. I think it's the change of director, or maybe the Total Drama people finally realized she's one of the most popular characters too.

I'm also happy because if she follows Heather's path, she won't be as much of an antagonist this season; she was already nicer in this one episode -though I won't sing my praises yet-, besides nobody attacked her or criticized her or generally hated her like they did in TDA- except, of course, Gwen, but that's perfectly fine.

It so ruined it that Duncan had to go. But he's coming back… somewhere along the season. Seems like the stress of having to balance his girlfriend _and_ his best friend finally wore him out, and he took it out on Chris and the competition itself, amiright?

Another thing- Courtney and Heather are like sworn enemies this season. And maybe Gwen and Heather will make amends, like Heather and Leshawna did– I don't know, but something's going to happen there… too much tension between those two.

But the Pyramid challenge made me FREAK OUT from a _major_ deja-vu. I had a dream so very similar to it, back in december last year.

And from here on I start telling my dream, so if you want, feel more than free to skip to the actual chapter:

My dream was centered on Duncan, Courtney and Gwen, who, like in the episode, were interacting as a trio for the first time, Courtney with her animosity towards Gwen and Duncan trying to include Gwen in their group. Just like TDWT, Trent wasn't there. The contestants were too on the beginning of the third season, and as a challenge they had to go through Tutankhamun's tomb (only the three went _under_ in the dream). And here it starts to differ from TDWT:

Courtney was proposing an alliance between her, Duncan, and Gwen, ("Listen, the three of us are the strongest players. We _have_ to form an alliance"), seemingly having gotten over her suspicions and dislike for Gwen. They did form an alliance, and Gwen slowly started to trust and even _like_ Courtney, as the CIT her so kindly, and didn't mind her friendship with Duncan one bit.

Of course, this was all an act, and in parallel, we could see Courtney's real feelings via the confessionals, as she ranted on an on about Duncan and Gwen and how she hated them being together. And on the sidelines, she was stirring things up to get Gwen voted off. Gwen got kicked off not even suspecting of Courtney, still believing her her friend. Courtney pretended to be sad like Duncan as they all said goodbye, and they parted as good friends.

Then Gwen got to Playa de Losers 3, where all the losers knew of Courtney's schemes, naturally, since they'd watched the tapes. Watching the video of the episode where she was voted off, Gwen's surprised when she sees Courtney's confessionals showing her true feelings whenever she was with Duncan and shows her concern for her _poor friend_ ("I didn't know that bothered her! Why didn't she tell me?"), but then sees how Courtney stabbed her in the back, getting the shock of her life. She calls Duncan, who by the way had been living in a state of bliss seeing the two girls of his life get along, and lets him know his girlfriend is as two-faced as ever. And then I woke up :| but got the idea that would come to be chapter 9 of the current fic ;D

(sigh) Okay, longest A/N _ever_. With no more ado (thankfully) I present you:

* * *

**~The Machine~**

**# ****Chapter 8:** The Second Letter** #**

"Princess? Tell me, what's it that I have to _promise_?" Duncan prodded.

"You'll see," Courtney replied non-comitally.

Duncan was starting to get a bad feeling about all of this; nonetheless, he still followed after Courtney as she led him by the hand towards campsite. The couple reached their apparent destination, the girls' trailer, and Courtney opened the door.

Beth, who had been dozing off in her bed, jolted up when the couple barged in. "Oh hi, guys," she greeted them as they went in direction of Courtney's bed. "I-I left the game earlier because…" she stammered, racking her brain for an excuse.

"Hey, this is pretty comfy," Duncan commented in surprise, bouncing up and down on the matress of Courtney's bed. He laid down completely, set his head on the pillow, and let out a grunt of pleasure. "_Aaagh_, a _real bed_. Chris wasn't lying about the goose down pillow."

"Of course not," Courtney remarked, frowning at the mention of their host. "Chris is not allowed to lie anymore. _I_ made sure of that," she assured, eyes narrowing.

"Uh…," Beth trailed off. Maybe they hadn't exactly cared that she left. She debated on whether or not she should be offended, and then just shrugged and went back to her business.

Meanwhile, Duncan was wondering what they were doing in there. In any case, if they were going to be in one of the trailers, he preferred it be hers. If they went to his instead, he took the risk of her finding her photograh under his pillow at some point, the one she thankfully still didn't know about.

That is, unless she had watched the episode in which Gwen stupidly told Trent what he had told _her_ in secret –seriously, not one of her brightest moments-; _then_ she would surely know. And Courtney wasn't likely to miss any episode while she was in Playa des Losers.

Well, he hadn't thought about that before. He mentally palmed his face. Now _that_ was embarrassing, especially after finding out she had moved right on and thrown every souvenir of their relationship out the window, something he still could not wrap his mind around. Duncan felt some of the old resentment come over him when he remembered that fact, as well as the uncertainty as to where he stood in—

_No_. Duncan stopped his thoughts.

They had agreed to start over. That didn't matter anymore.

All that mattered was the _now_— and _why_ Courtney was digging through her luggage like that.

"Babe?" he called. "What're you doing? I thought you wanted to talk conditions or whatever."

"I do." Courtney finally incorporated, with a stack of papers in hands. "These are they."

Duncan stared from her to the stack of papers, then back to her. He opened his mouth, discovered he had nothing to say, the closed it again.

She had to be joking. _Of course_ she was joking. She wouldn't really….

Duncan looked at Courtney's awaiting face, and after a few more seconds of silence, he let his surprised expression fall off.

Of _course_ she would. She was _Courtney_.

"…Hm," he commented. He stretched his arms and took the papers from her hands. He calmly skimmed through them, as if this was the most normal thing in the world. He arrived to the final part and saw his name under a line, awaiting a signature. "This is a contract," he stated.

"It's actually a letter," she corrected with an sweet smile. "A contract has a different format." She took it from his hands. "Inside you'll find everything I think went wrong with our relationship, everything I think _you_ should change –basically everything you need to know about how to make me happy."

Despite himself, Duncan raised his eyebrows, interested. This was a free pass into a girl's mind she was granting him. _That_ was something tempting. He shook his head to regain focus, and looked down at the stack of papers again, considering his options. He sighed. "But did you _have_ to write it down?" he asked.

"I'm an organized person," she replied innocenctly.

"How many pages _are_ there on this thing?" He asked, turning over the pages.

"32," she said, and seeing his expression, quickly added "It's very specific stuff." Seeing he was still unconvinced, she took one of his hands in hers and appealed to his sensitivity, saying, "This is what I need to feel comfortable in this relationship, Duncan. A real relationship. Not like before," she gave him a meaningful look, and he understood what she meant. Or at least, he thought he did.

"You need… _all_ of this?" He insisted, looking at the so-called letter that was his current worst enemy.

Courtney didn't say another word. Instead she looked at him, bit her lower lip and nodded, and she looked sincere (not to mention cute).

Duncan sighed. Rolling his eyes and thinking he must've finally gone crazy, he said "Let's see it."

Courtney's face instantly lighted up, and she leaned forward to give him a kiss on the cheek. Despite himself, Duncan smiled at the burst of affection.

"You have made the right choice," she assured him, delighted, as she took back the contract. "Okay," she said, getting ready to start reading, when Duncan nudged her in the soulder. "What?"

He nodded towards the other side of the room, where a very awake Beth was watching them, interest caught by the show they were mounting.

Courtney extended her arm towards the door and uttered a single word, "Leave."

Beth gaped. "Bu-but, where will I sleep?"

"You can sleep in the boys' trailer. It's empty now," the other brunette replied matter-of-factly.

"The _boys'_ trailer? But the _boys_ used it, ee-yuck!"

"Well you can't stay _here_," Courtney argued. "We're about to discuss something personal, and we need our privacy."

Duncan decided to cut the dispute for good. "Oh, let the nerd stay. She's gonna be asleep _any_way."

Courtney glared at him –although he was pretty sure the gesture was meant for Beth-, as the other girl piped up with a, "Yes! That's right! I won't even listen to you. I just want to sleep… Swearsies."

Courtney rolled her eyes. "Ugh! Fine!" she gave in, and sat down on her bed next to Duncan. She watched Beth roll over, presumably getting ready to fall sleep, and turned to whisper to Duncan, "Do you really think she'll be asleep?"

"Girl doesn't know how to lie," he stated in an equal whisper.

Courtney looked unconvinced, but didn't press on it, and turned her focus back to the contract. "Okay, let's get this started with, shall we?" She cleared her throat and begun reading the first page, "Part 1. Conventions, conditions and restrictions."

Duncan's good mood evaporated.

He sighed in resignation, perfectly concious he was in for for what would be a very, _very_ long night.

* * *

"Section six. The receiver compromises do all in his power to become and exemplary boyfriend. This includes,"

Only ten minutes into the night and Duncan was already feeling suffocated.

"To always listen to me. To be mature and responsible. To always tell me the truth."

And though he was rather pleased with the way they were laying down –on her bed, propped on their elbows next to each other, very close together so they could both read from the contract-, it just wasn't quite enough to make up for the circumstances.

"To surprise me by means of gifts, invitations to places, and such, every at least ten days," she smiled as she said this, and he rolled his eyes. "Section seven. The receiver will abolish commenting on private aspects of the relationship to third parties."

"Wait. What?" he stopped her.

"No telling Geoff and DJ stuff about me behind my back," she explained in a normal tone, and immediately went back to the paper. "Oh, this is important" she said as she remembered the part of the letter she was reading, causing Duncan to perk up. She cleared her throat, and read severely, "The receiver will abolish any suspicious _bonding_ activities with other females, that may bring up the subject of _infidelity._"

Duncan's eyes widened. Oh, he knew exactly what _that_ one meant.

He opened his mouth to protest, but Courtney beat him to it "Save it, Duncan. I don't care anymore," she said with a frown. "We said to start over and I will. We won't talk about this again after this, I just want to make sure history doesn't repeat itself."

"But I just don't know where the hell you got those ideas," he retorted in a frustrated tone, talking quickly before she could cut him off.

"I've got _eyes_!" she exclaimed angrily in his face.

"Well you should get them _checked_," he retorted, irked as well. "because nothing happened wi…-!"

"Duncan, just drop it!" she finally shouted, eyes wide with an anger that took Duncan aback. She was raging, and at the same time more vulnerable than Duncan had ever seen her. "_Forget_ it, and just promise to not make me _wonder_ from now _on_!" She stopped abruptly and whipped her head towards the bed across from them, where Beth had just stirred.

"She's asleep," Duncan assured dismissively, gently grabbing Courtney's chin to make her look at him. "Listen, babe… I don't _know_ what you might've heard, but nothing _happened_ between Gwen and I." Courtney was looking down at Duncan's goatee, up at his mohawk, at the wall of the trailer, anywhere that wasn't his eyes. He jerked her chin slightly, trying to get her to look at him. "I promise."

Her eyes locked on his for a milli-second, before she teared her gaze away and broke free from his hand. She hesitated for an instant before saying, "Duncan, I genuinely don't care what you did or didn't do. I'm more interested, in the _future_," she told him, in a tone that showed she considered the subject over with. She focused back on the papers and tucked her hair behind her ears, trying not to show she was clearly flustered.

Duncan pulled away, disappointed with her reaction, especially because it meant he was now officially out of resorts. He had wanted to sit her down and talk straight to her about the rumors ever since she came back on the show, but that had gone unsuccessful. And just now it had ocurred to him that she might never actually believe him when he tried to tell her he and Gwen were just friends.

Courtney had begun reading again –something about compliments once an hour-, but he purposefully abstracted from her voice. Maybe she would never truly trust him. Maybe he would have to permanently walk on eggshells for fear that she might misinterpret his actions, and there would be no chance she would listen to reason afterwards. _Damn it_.

Duncan laid down his head on his crossed arms, burying his face inside and closing his eyes.

Was it him? Were his words that unconvincing, that short on weight? Was he that untrustworthy in her eyes? Was it so freakin' difficult to believe that he wouldn't cheat on her?

Duncan stayed in that position for a while, until he suddenly felt Courtney's hand on his back, and realized she hadn't been reading from the contract in the last moments. "Duncan?" she called softly. "I know you're tired… but the sooner we get done with this, the sooner you can go to bed." When he didn't respond, she started moving her hand up and down his upper back, and then moved up to his neck, stroking the ends of his hair with her warm touch.

There was something else he had forgotten he loved about Courtney. She was _always_ warm, always. Even when it was ten degrees outside. It was almost unnatural, and he had missed that terribly about her during the time they were apart. It was like he had been missing the personal sun of his life –even though he would never speak that sentence aloud.

Without thinking, he snaked his right arm from under his face and placed it around her waist, hugging her. Her hand stopped caressing his head, he could sense confusion coming off her. Duncan turned around, wrapping his other arm around her as he did so.

"Duncan?" Courtney questioned with an eyebrow furrowed as she found herself being pulled closer to the boy.

He just looked at her with tender, drowsy eyes and a serious face. "I'm glad you're considering me," he told her, rescuing the good side of this predicament. It was easy when she was so beautiful above him.

She smiled. "I'm glad we're talking," she replied sincerely.

And judging by the look of bliss in her eyes, she really was.

* * *

A good hour later, they were still at it.

"Part 12," Courtney read to a dozing Duncan. "The receiver compromises not to subject my person to public embarrassment. This includes- no engaging on the use of pet names, which will hereby only be executed by yours truly."

Duncan perked up at this. "Excuse me? What was that?"

Courtney ignored him and went on. "No teasing in public, especially taunts of sexual nature."

Duncan was bewildered. "Wait, wait, wait" he stopped her. "I have to stop _teasing_ you?" he asked, saying these words as if it meant his whole world ending.

She turned to face him with an air of authority. "Only if you wanna be with me," she clarified lightly, with falsely innocent eyes.

Duncan's eyebrows were raised so high you could actually see there were _two_ of them. "But-but… If I can't tease you, or call you names… what the _hell_ will we _talk_ about?" he asked, hands alongside his face in mock-horror.

Courtney wasn't amused. If anything, these words seemed to fire her up. "See! That right there! That you just said!" she exclaimed, frustrated, like a tired mother to a difficult child. "_That_ implies an unperfect relationship!"

Duncan couldn't help but break his mock-concerned stance by chuckling at this, surprised at her absurd worry. "Princess, c'mon, you know that's not true," he said, circling her waist with his arms.

Courtney's fire didn't descend. She rolled her eyes. "_I_ know it, and _you_ know it," she jabbed a finger at his chest. "But other people don't know it!"

He shrugged obliviously. "Who cares what other people says?"

"_I_ do!" she shouted, shaking with rage, and in that moment Duncan saw it clear.

This wasn't about her, _or_ him. It was about other people, and how _they_ saw their relationship.

"Ooh," he said as it dawned on him. Courtney stopped shaking and relaxed when she saw he was finally catching on. "So… this is just when there's people around."

"Exactly," she breathed, relieved.

"Just for the camera," he confirmed.

"Well, for the camera and the people there at the time," she clarified.

He furrowed his brows. "So I'm never teasing you in public again," he asked, but it wasn't a question.

Courtney chuckled. "You can live through that," she played it down, reaching out to caress his cheek.

Duncan cast his eyes down. "…I guess."

* * *

The night so far had seemed endless for Duncan. In the sky the moon got consistently higher, as the trailer got darker and darker, and the lone light above their heads appeared brighter by the minute. It had been a while since the whole staff had gone to bed, and not a creature around them was stirring, except for a restless Beth who suspiciously enough had not snored once in the whole night.

Duncan was exhausted, wanting nothing but to go to sleep, but the same emotional stress that was bringing him down was also keeping him up. He didn't even have the energy to fight her ridiculous rules anymore, and had resorted to a silent acceptance.

The only thing constant in the whole setting was the girl next to him, preaching out rules as firmly as almost two hours ago.

"The receiver will compromise to be more _motivated_ and _future-concious,_" she read. "This includes…," she turned the page. "Actually start _working_ on his school work, _and_ start making plans for a future employment," she said, each word like a whip. "To have goals and dreams, and the drive to acheive them."

Courtney had done all on her power to word everything in a way that Duncan just _had_ to listen. Unfortunately for her, while she was trying her best to make him listen, he was trying his best to ignore her voice.

A little ago, on Page 22, section 3, she had made him promise to become a cleaner, tidier person; to change his clothes, his hair, his walk—basically to become a whole other person on the outside. Now, she was trying to change him on the inside, change his attitude towards life in general.

Duncan hadn't expected to have to deal with a contract until he decided to get married. When he settled down, which would be, say, a good thirty years from now- when he was _old_, and starting to bald, like his father.

He had been hoping he and Courtney would just get back together and that would be it. Now he realized that thought was foolish. With Courtney it was never that simple.

"Duncan, are you even listening?" Courtney suddenly asked.

Duncan whipped up his head, looking like a deer caught in the headlights. "Uhh…"

"Come on, this is _important_!" she urged, sounding nearly desperate. Duncan guessed that from this point on she could go two ways; break down in tears, or start yelling like a madwoman.

"No, I _am_! I _am_ listening!" he promptly assured her, not even completely concious of what he was saying. "Just… go on."

She looked at him in resentment, but then turned away and closed her eyes as she massaged the bridge of her nose, sighing. Duncan noted she looked like a bundle of nerves. Even though she was the main author of this difficult situation, he couldn't help but feel a pang seeing her like this.

Little did he know, she was about to drop a bomb on him.

She opened her eyes and resumed her reading. "Part 25. The receiver will ask for permission," she started. "every time he intends to kiss, hug, grope, glomp, throw an arm around, squeeze, pick up or perform any other kind of intimate display of affection-slash-lust, to my person."

Duncan was suddenly very awake. "_W-what_?" he exclaimed in disbelief. She looked up at him, and he shook his head darkly, "No."

Courtney narrowed her eyes at him. "Duncan…"

"Nononono, that's _it_! I will not agree with _that_!" he stated decisively, surprising himself with his newfound strenght.

It was about time he imposed himself.

All the other things were… tolerable, barely… but this, he couldn't and _wouldn't_ put up with. Imagine having to ask first every time he wanted to kiss her. Imagine in the cinema when he wanted to simply put an arm around her, but had to ask for permission first. Imagine never again being able to reach out and touch her hair, kiss her randomly, or surprise her in any way.

"Okay," she said angrily, before slapping the letter on the pillow. "picture this scene. A potential future employer and I meet. We're talking, I'm making a good first impression, and _then_" she made a swift motion diving the edge of her hand into her other palm, making Duncan pull back. "comes my punk, delinquent boyfriend, hugs me from behind, and makes an innapropiate joke. How does _that_ look for you?"

Duncan nodded hotly. "Uh-huh. Okay. Now picture _this_ scene," he closed in on her face and continued, "I'm about to ask you to _marry_ me. I've the ring in my pocket, about to kneel down, except I can't- because I have to ask you for _permission_ to _propose_."

Courtney had seemed to forget her anger and just looked caught off-guard, although Duncan wasn't sure if it was because she had never looked at it that way or because of the particular scenario he had used as an example. "…Okay. I see your point. I… _may_ be able to be a little more flexible when we're in private."

Duncan grunted. "Gee, sweetheart, don't spoil me," he said bitterly, facing away from her.

"Duncan!" she scolded him shakily, insulted by his lack of consideration. "I wouldn't be asking you all this if I didn't _need_ it." Finding no reaction in him, she continued, "Do you have any _idea_ of all I'm sacrificing to be in this relationship?"

"Then why _are_ you in it?" He snapped, genuinely curious.

She stared at him with an unreadable expression for a few seconds, but at the end, she avoided the question. "Duncan, all I'm asking you is to tone it down," she said softly, persuasively. "My reputation is important to me." He didn't respond. "Can you understand that?"

"Yeah," he said. "I understand we're never having a romantic moment ever again."

Her eyes widened. "That's not-!" she stopped herself, and growled. "Okay look," she said, pulling out a pencil from somewhere, and took the letter. "Let's make a little clause here," she said as she wrote. "So it won't be so strict, okay?" She finished writing and passed the papers over to him with a triumphal smile, internally congratulating herself on her negotiating skills.

Duncan took the contract, which now read:

**The receiver will ask for permission every time he intends to kiss, hug, grope, glomp, throw an arm around, squeeze, pick up, or perform any other kind of intimate display of affection/lust, to my person. **_**Not so when it is a lesserly personal display, namely:**_

_**- holding hands,**_

_**- touching my shoulder, and**_

_**- a kiss on the cheek or forehead.**_

Duncan examined the additions, not looking all that convinced. Courtney studied his reaction carefully, her own prideful expression slowly falling at his lack of response. Too nervous to wait, she decided to break the silence.

"See? This is good," she told him. He looked up at her, and she looked at him straight in the eyes. "We're _talking_," she said meaningfully, and tenderly grabbed his hand. "We're working things out," she said. Then her eyelids dropped and her lips formed a flirtatious smile, "And besides," she chuckled, inching close to him. "_I'm_ still alowed to do stuff without notice."

Despite himself, Duncan felt a smirk tugging at his lips; he couldn't help but respond to her teasing. "Do you promise me to surprise me often, babe?"

She _hmm_'ed, "We'll see," she said as she closed in for a short kiss.

Duncan gladly returned the kiss, and once she pulled away he threw his head back and sighed, not believing what he was about to say, "_Any_thing for you, sweetheart."

* * *

Not too long later, the fatigue finally started to catch up with Courtney. The tedious and emotionally draining process of going over each rule was beginning to get to her. She was rubbing her eyes, and making pauses to tell herself to wake up more and more often.

Duncan had rolled over so he was laying on his back, and Courtney had to continually nudge him to keep him from falling asleep. In reality, she wanted nothing more than to lie down next to him and let herself fall into the arms of Morpheus, even though she knew that was an impossible wish—even if she did lie down and close her eyes, she hadn't slept in weeks, and tonight would be no different. Maybe that was why she wanted it so much.

She was reading some rule establishing the limit of time to return text messages, when she stopped to stiffle a yawn. She then rubbed her eyes, exhausted, and couldn't find the will to go back to the norm-reading.

"You know what," she told Duncan. "This part is pretty self-explainatory, why don't you read a little on your own while I rest my eyes for a sec." She proposed, relinquishing the hold of the papers to her partner.

Duncan snorted. "Sure Princess, get your beauty sleep while I stay up reading _this_."

"I'm not going to fall asleep," Courtney said distractedly, knowing that he wouldn't understand how much truth there was in her words.

"Whatever," grunted Duncan, skeptical.

Courtney didn't say a word. Instead she just sneaked in between Duncan's arms and made a space for herself on his chest, where she immediately closed her eyes.

At this unusual course of action, Duncan felt irritation vanish against his will, as his mind was occupied by other matters; like what the prize would be for swallowing down that contract, and stand by its ridiculous rules. After a moment, the punk teenager used his left arm to wrap around her waist and pull her closer, eliciting a sigh of pleasure from the dozing girl.

Duncan hated himself for thinking, in that moment, that all the shit she was putting him through _was worth it_.

Duncan looked down at her in slience for a while. Then he sighed and raised the contract to his eye level, diligently reading and memorizing every line.

* * *

The sun was shining on their faces when Courtney started to stir awake. She let out a soft, baby-like yawn with her eyes still closed, feeling strangely warm and comfortable where she was.

She felt something stir under her. "Good morning, Princess," a husky voice greeted, sounding newly awaken as well.

Memories from last night came flooding back to Courtney's head, and she felt herself smiling happily. "Good morning," she said softly back.

Then it hit her. _Morning_.

Her eyes fluttered open and she suddenly incorporated, comfirming the presence of the sun through the window. "Oh my God," she said to no one in particular. "I fell asleep."

From below, Duncan opened one eye to look at her strangely, and then closed it again. "No shit, babe," he said, letting out a huge yawn.

Courtney started to smile, basking in the feeling of this small miracle. She had just had the first good night's sleep in a long time with no tossing and tumbling whatsoever; she felt completely refreshed and happy in a way she didn't remember being in a long time.

She looked down at the still slumbering Duncan, and let herself fall back in her position on his chest and close her eyes again, "Mmhh, five more minutes," she said, nuzzling her face on his neck.

She could tell Duncan was smiling gladly as he hugged her tighter. "No problem with _that_."

However, the mushy moment lasted for only about ten seconds.

After which Courtney's eyes flew open once again, this time in alarm. "Wait a sec- this is the girls' cabin!" she exclaimed at the boy. "You can't wake up in the girls' cabin!"

"You should've thought of that when you invited me in last night," Duncan said, smirking, but Courtney had already climbed off him and halfway down the bed. Duncan wondered how she could be so energetic and fresh-looking already, while he felt like he had closed his eyes for fifteen minutes, tops.

"Get out. Get _out_." she ordered, sweeping him with a pillow to get him off the bed. "C'mon!" Beth groaned and rolled in her sleep, which moved Courtney into lowering her voice. "Duncan, if somebody sees you here and it evolves into a situation where I get embarrassed, I want you to know you are violating the contract."

Duncan's whole vibe turned irritated. "Right. The contract. The _freakin'_ contract," he muttered, beginning to slowly sit up on the bed, preparing to jump.

"Duncan…" Courtney urged him.

"I'm coming, I'm coming, don't get your panties in a-_gah_!" not looking where he was going, he had hooked his feet on Courtney's open bag, and produced a flawless face-plant on the floor.

He grunted, pissed off, as he heard Courtney rush to his side. "Dunky! Are you okay?"

He propped himself up with his arms, Courtney's hands in his chest and back steadying him. "Peachy," he grunted, dusting himself off. He saw he had scattered the contents of her bag all over the floor.

"Well, at least now you're awake," she chuckled, worry now over, and bent down to start picking up her things. "Talking about the contract," she started as he kneeled next to her and started handing her her belongings, that she put away in her bag.

"Oh boy."

"We didn't finish it," she said, ignoring him. "You're gonna have to read it today."

"Today?" He repeated, not to thrilled about the idea, as he lingered staring at a portrait in his hands.

"Yes today," she replied, taking the portrait from him and storing it inside her bag. "I want to get started on it as soon as possible. And I expect that we put immediately into operation what we did discuss."

"I didn't sign it either," he observed.

"Well no," she said matter-of-factly. "How can you sign a letter you haven't read? That's why you have to hurry." She watched him let out an inaudible sigh. "Duncan." He turned to her to meet her serious eyes. "Do you promise me to memorize that letter?"

He rolled his eyes, but looked serious. "Yeah I promise."

She stared at him; he looked honest. "Okay."

Having finished helping her pick up her stuff, Duncan took the contract and stood up, shuffling through it. Much to his surprise and horror, he found a lot of things they had gone over last night that he didn't remember. Had he been so tired yersterday? Or was this during the times he was distracted thinking how unfair this situation was?

Duncan turned the pages forcefully, frustrated. Apart from a little number of importants bits he did recall from last night, the contract was practically a mistery to him. He might as well start all over again.

He was distracted from his worrysome thoughts by Courtney's arms wrapping around his shoulders. "See you at breakfast, honey?" she asked sweetly, touching her forehead to his –acting like a girlfriend would.

He smiled and wrapped his arms around her waist. "See you at breakfast, Princess," he replied, but his smile fell when he saw her frown.

"_Dun-can_. No pet names, remember?" she chided, separating their faces and letting her arms fall from his shoulders to his arms.

Duncan looked sad, and the fatigue from yesterday was reflected in his features again. "Oh… right, well… shit."

Before Courtney could scold him for swearing, more movement from Beth's bed reminded her of the situation at hand.

"Oh, oh, get out!" she urged Duncan, pushing him to the door from her place in the middle of the room.

Duncan did as he was told, but before closing the door behind him, he snuck his head back in to blow a playful kiss at his newly restored girlfriend, if only to see her distress.

Sure enough, Courtney mouthed a frantic '_go'_ one last time, after which Duncan finally left, closing the door with a smirk and a thud.

She turned around stiffly, just in time to greet a newly awakened Beth. The dorky brunette opened her eyes and looked around for a moment, until she located Courtney's form. "Good morning," she said mechanically, as she felt around for her glasses.

"Good morning," Courtney returned, still not moving from where she was.

Beth halted, causing the other brunette to stiffen. "Did you just say good morning back to me?"

Courtney looked at her strangely. "What? Yes," she responded matter-of-factly, crossing her arms. "That's what you usually do when a person says 'good morning', isn't it?"

Beth adjusted her glasses. "Sure. It's just that you've never said it before. Usually you just tell me to 'zip it' or that it'll 'be a good morning once you've achieved something significant other than sleeping'."

Courtney frowned at the testimony. "Well, I happen to be in a good mood, okay?" she screeched, her tone contradicting her words.

"Okay," Beth was quick to agree. She didn't say another word as she got out of bed, gathered her clothes, and left for the bathroom.

During that time, Courtney had been rummaging through her bag, acting busy. She was still in yesterday's clothes, having never changed into her pajamas, and she knew Beth probably thought she had already showered and changed. She would have to wait until after Beth was done to take a shower.

Once she was by her lonesome, Courtney started picking out a new set of clothes, when she saw something from the corner of her eye that made her do a double-take, and caused her heart to jump. Not losing a second, she crossed the room and kneeled down, quickly collecting a small object from under Beth's bed. She thanked God Beth hadn't seen it- she thanked God _Duncan_ hadn't seen it, when he was recovering the rest of her things that had rolled off her bag.

Courtney sneaked a glance at the door as she made a dash back to her bag. She fell on her knees with her back to the door, so as to block the sight from anyone who happened to come in.

Looking down at the object in her hands, she paused before putting it away, and suddenly felt the strange urge to hug it to her chest.

In her hands she held a hand-crafted wooden skull.

Yes. In reality, Courtney had never really thrown away the little token Duncan had made for her. But the only reason for that was that she had forgotten she even _had_ it. She had told Duncan she had thrown it away because that hit more than just leaving it aside, and at the moment, she had wanted to hurt Duncan. In any case, right now she was glad she had never disposed of it.

Courtney let a corny smile take over her face as she recalled the events from last night, to mere minutes ago. She and Duncan had only been back together for a few hours, and he was already making her life sweeter. Just now he had given her the first night of full rest in at least four weeks. And she felt so happy, she could just cry.

_Duncan agreed to the contract_, she thought as she bit her lip delightfully. He had agreed to fix everything that was wrong with their relationship. Words could not express how happy she felt, or how thankful she was to Duncan for accepting her conditions. Those thoughts alone were enough for her to give in and bring the skull to her chest with force, closing her eyes tightly.

"Oh," she whispered, unable to control herself. "From now on, everything'll be perfect," she stated passionately to herself, savoring her words and at the same time vowing to fulfill them.

Perfect. Flawless. An exemplar of a relationship.

To Courtney's delight, she felt she had shaken off that _steel-like_ feeling that had accompanied her from the start of the season- she felt very much open and _real_. She held the skull tighter.

For the first time in her life, it felt like the whole Cosmos was conspiring in her _favor_; like the world had broadened and at the same time shrinked down to her size, become something understandable, simple, and _beautiful_. Like life was full of wonderful possibilites; it was safe and exciting at the same time; and most of all beautiful… and it was all thanks to _him_.

Courtney felt goose bumps rise on her skin that certaintly did _not_ come from a sudden rush of air. She opened her eyes, still smiling.

Everything was alright in her world.

…

And this was the first time in weeks that she said that sentence and felt it true.

* * *

To clear things up, I have never in my life seen a contract— even though I should've, because I have _signed_ one, but the company kinda swindled us so we didn't even get to see it—_anyway_. I apologize to the knowing people who might know better. Sowy :) Me no speaky law mumble-jumble.

_ ~The Lighthouse_


	10. Dictatorship

Stupid little Gwen-shaped _slut_ ¬¬

I respected you before that kiss.

But honestly, what bothered me even more than the kiss from that promo was the married DxC scene that followed. What with Duncan throwing her on the ground, out of pure annoyance for sure, and Courtney demanding a divorce. That's exactly the kind of couple I don't want them to be T_T and it hints that Duncan's turned to Gwen for a break, because Court's making him so damn sick and tired.

Anyway,

Beauty Kills: Aww, thanks for the sentiment, though I don't really write for reviews (althogh I do kinda hope than when I get better I'll get more ^^) as much as for practice and because I simply love it :)

CarmillaD: Aii espero que no :P la enemistad entre Gwen y Courtney es para mi lo mejor por lejos de TDWT, espere tanto para verlo y parece tan… perfecto xD. Jaja, perdón que contradiga tus esperanzas.

Jajaja, es verdad Top Dog se me hizo re largo :P y encima siiiguee xP Siempre me quedan las historias el triple de largo de lo que las planeo, no se por qué.

Frank15: Sweet & disturbing. Two perfect words to describe DxC xD

**IMPORTANT: That little elimination change I did (Owen going early) takes its toll on this chapter. Watch out ;)**

**

* * *

**

**~The Machine~**

**# **Dictatorship **#**

"Soo Courtney… you and Duncan huh?"

The question alone widened the already present smile to Courtney's face. She turned to Beth, craddling her face on her palm and smiling at the memory of last night. "Yeah… it was nice to have finally worked things out between us," she answered, letting her eyes droop romatically.

And despite their history, Beth couldn't help but smile at the evident happiness radiating off the girl before her.

Suddenly Courtney's eyes turned worried. "We didn't keep you up, did we?"

Beth wasn't taken aback at her uncharacteristical niceness, because it had accompanied her all day, and in Beth's opinion, it just went to show you how happy Courtney felt. "Nah," she answered easily, and mentally snickered because she knew she had heard every single word.

What? It was _Courtney and Duncan_ getting back together. She would have kept herself up if she had just come home from a year-long War or some other impressive feat like the ones Chef talked about.

Just then, the other half of Duncney himself came in through the door.

Courtney turned her head, her smile disappearing as she realized for the first time how tired Duncan looked. He had looked rather energetic back at the trailer… it was the first time she saw the dark bags under his eyes, his unnatural paleness and the comically tilted mo-hawk.

"Hey babe," he said tiredly, and Courtney instantly frowned.

"Duncan! I thought we had agreed only _I_ would engage in the use of pet names!" she scolded, feeling frustrated. Hadn't they just gone over this? Like, fifteen minutes ago? "It's _right there_ on page three!"

"Section five," added Beth to back her up.

Courtney ignored the intrusion and turned back to Duncan, "You promised to memorize that letter for today," she reminded him sternly.

"I-I will, I will," he assured her mechanically as he piteously crawled to his seat, tumbling once or twice. "I-I-I'm just really tired right now. Aren't you?" he asked her, not even fighting her exigence anymore. Beth watched incredulously the scene in front of her, bewildered by how… _puny_ Duncan looked, and wondering whether or not he realized it.

Gwen, watching the same scene in disbelief from Playa de Losers, would later sum it up in these words,

"Okay. That's it," she spat sardonically, getting the attention of the rest of the assembly from the shock and rage evident in her voice. "Courtney, is a freakin' _vampire_. She literally _sucked_ the life _out_ of him."

Back in the present, Courtney answered, "Don't worry, I forgive you. Just like I forgave the _other_ three hundred and sixteen minor transgressions I outlined in my letter- _but_, I expect you to memorizethat letter so it doesn't happen again!"

"Anything for you, bab- Courtney!" he caught himself in time.

"You may hold me now," she told him, turning her back to him.

Duncan's spirits lifted. True, he couldn't reach out for her spontaneously anymore; but maybe she would comply with his petition and reach out for _him_, more often. Duncan wasted no time in wrapping her arms around her; she leaned into his chest, and Duncan's sleepy mind identified the contact as _good_.

He looked down at Courtney with a small smile of contentement, as she put her hands over his and smiled in silent happiness.

Pherhaps it was their combined tiredness, or pherhaps neither wanted to break the quiet loving moment they had submerged into, but the fact was that neither party made an effort to start a conversation, and stayed in a comfortable silence instead.

After a while of succesfully blocking out the chatting, screaming and choking, and general non-challenge morning craziness, a sudden beeping sound seemed to awaken Courtney, and Duncan's smile fell right off when he felt her stir. _Well, he'd been wondering how much _that_ was gonna last_…

Courtney took out her PDA. "New message?" She asked herself, sounding surprised. She turned to Duncan, and he saw an almost apologetic look in her eyes. "I just need to check…-"

"Attention, cast!" Chris called as he came in to the scene, the parrot on his shoulder squeaking in harmony after him. He stood in his usual pose, arms folded behind his back and bright fake smile on his face, as he waited for the assembly of confused teenagers who didn't expect to have a challenge today.

Chris absolutely hated, hated, _hated_ Duncan and Courtney for getting back together off-camera. Millions of viewers -half of which were die-hard 'Duncney' lovers- would tune in at the end of this week and find that their favorite pairing had hooked up while they hadn't been there to watch.

Their whole scene last night, from Beth's game to the out-of-the-blue kiss to the long discussion of the controversial 'relationship contract' would have shooted Total Drama Action (and _him_) to the very top of the ratings, but _nooo_- they _had_ to do it _all_ on a non-challenge day.

Determined not to miss out on any more action, Chris had moved the challenge forward two days. Given those kids' relationship's shotgun nature, he may not have a lot of time, and it would be even more disastruous if the fans tuned in to see Courtney and Duncan had made up and fallen out again, and they had missed it completely.

He was set to record every detail of Courtney's apparent enslavement of Duncan.

"Dude what's with the flying rat on your shoulder?" Duncan quipped up as the teens flocked together.

Chris didn't stop smiling. "That's my new BFFF. Best flying friend forever. Which brings us to today's movie genre- the _animal buddy _flick."

He ignored the kids' expressions questioning his choice in genre -making a mental note to pass by the make-up trailer later to explain that one-, and procceeded to explain the first challenge.

An hour later, they were all in the midst of training their animals, none of them with much success.

"No, no, no, I told you _bright_ green, like my mo-hawk!" Duncan chastised his pet, pointing at his hair for extra effect. "Not that wussy moss green! C'mon, get it right!"

The chameleon had the audacity to turn red to express him discontentment. Duncan glowered at him, looking as if he was about to strike him, but then just sighed and let his muscles relax. He just didn't have the _energy_ for this.

He looked over at Courtney, curious as to how she was doing. She looked like she was having trouble as well, trying to teach her shark how to do a cheer, a rather impossible task if you asked him; then again, if anyone could teach a shark how to cheer, it was Courtney. In any case, he got a kick out of seeing her little cheerleading routine for a while- he had always kinda pegged her for the cheerleader kind, but had always forgotten to ask her.

He gave up on his animal altogether and sat at the table, with every intention of taking a nap. He rested his head on his palm and finally let himself close his eyes. He indulged himself in a peaceful semi-conciousness for an indefinite amount of time, until:

"Duncan! Hour's almost up!"

The teenager's eyes fluttered open before his mind knew he was awake. As the latter part of Courtney's sentence sank in, Duncan got a feeling of dread similar to when a child has to take a test he forgot to study for; a feeling Duncan had never gotten from any teacher or from his own mom, and that he really didn't want and shouldn't be getting from his _girlfriend_.

"Hour for what?" he stuttered nervously, forgetting all about his nap, and the fact that he would have murdered anyone else who had woke him up.

"Page 2, section 5, ring any bells?" she asked scathingly, and Duncan felt consternation, and then guilt eat away at him when her face turned disappointed. "You promised to pay me a compliment once every hour."

"Oh, yeah, right!" he said, even though he did not remember that at all. He produced the contract, trying to find the rule she was talking about, as if it would help him think of something. "Uh, you have…" he racked his sleepy brain for something to say. "…nice teeth." It was true! He liked her teeth, they really complimented her beautiful smile, and they looked bright against her dark skin.

Courtney didn't find it satisfying, though. She scowled at him. "Quit fooling around with that glorified lizard, and get memorizing," she ordered, and he hated himself for the guilty, submissive look he was giving her as she talked. He was too tired to even control his _face_. "After all, what's more important? Winning some stupid challenge, or making _me_ happy?"

She grabbed his face as she said this, a gesture that normally would've put him on her side immediately, but that didn't weigh enough to distract him from the incredibly selfish words.

Courtney had already turned her back on him when his face turned into a scowl. He rose from his seat, and decided to make a stop in the Confessional, since he hadn't all day.

He entered the make-up trailer and sat down in front of the camera, presenting the Contract from Hell to the viewing audience. "As I'm sure many of you know by now, _Courtney_," he pronounced her name with every bit of annoyance he wasn't willing to show her in person. "wrote me a 32-page letter outlining all my faults, and how to _correct_ them if we're ever going to have a serious relationship! All of which, she expects me to memorize! I think I would have preferred, I dunno… a night of alien probing or something," he dramatized.

"Don't get me wrong now," he went on, putting down the papers. "I'm really happy we're back together and all. But it's like she actually expects me to help _her_ win, instead of helping myself," he chuckled humorlessly. "_So_ not gonna happen."

"I mean hey, I like Courtney, I really _do_, but I also like a million big ones," he said, eyes getting big. "Best case scenario, I win the money _and_ the girl. But if it comes down to it, I need the money more than I need some high-maintenance chick with a superiority complex," he blurted out, before laughing nervously, surprised at his own outburst. He really wouldn't want her to hear what he had just said, after all. "Don't… tell her I said that, okay?"

He hesitated for a second, wondering if he should say something else, but then just upped and left the room.

He closed the door behind him but did not leave immediately; instead, he leaned back on the door and heaved a sigh, rubbing his eyes. He stayed that way for a moment. Then he stood straight, withdrew his hands and opened his eyes. "Just hang on in there," he told himself, affecting a serene tone. "You've got her now, you're back together. Nothing can go wrong _now_," he said, establishing the things he knew for sure first.

He then chuckled wryly, "You already said goodbye to your _pride_," he said, rolling his eyes. Past were the times where he stressed himself trying to choose between his pride and his Courtney. He had taken his chance, he had made his extra effort and been compliant with what Courtney asked, and it had actually fixed things up. He'd had to kiss goodbye an important part of his self-respect in the process, but… what was done was done.

_N__ow just work around it_, he concluded in his mind. Considering his pep talk finished, he left the area, before somebody saw him talking to himself, or a cameramen caught on and tried to get the whole thing on tape. Not before, however, he grunted in agony.

"Maaaan! _So_ freakin' _tired_!"

* * *

"I cannot believe they gave me a five! A _five_! Do they have _any_ idea how hard it is to teach a shark how to cheer?" Courtney's complaints filled the inside of the bus.

Duncan chose not to comment that training his pet to change to his mohawk's color had been no picnic either, as he sat between Courtney and the window with his arms behind his head and his eyes blissfully closed.

The bus they were riding in contained only the three remaining contestants, their respective pets, Chris and Chef, who was driving the bus the way he usually drove- like a madman.

Chris was in the front of the bus, giving Chef directions, aloof from what the teens were doing.

"Especially," Courtney went on. "since that," she nodded at Beth, not caring to lower her voice. "doofus over there got the highest mark for an impression she barely even _tried_ for."

The so-called _doofus_ turned around on her seat and faced the other girl, "Courtney, I got a ten because _I_ bonded with my creature," she said, petting her raccoon's fur for extra effect.

Courtney scoffed. "Please, the only reason you got a ten is because Chris was trying to piss me off by-_gah!_," she hastily grabbed onto the back of the seat in front of her after Chef took a particularly sharp curve, that caused the slumbering Duncan to fall on her shoulder.

Beth, who had nearly fallen off her seat, adjusted her lop-sided glasses and retorted, "You're just jealous that I won the first challenge," with a jeering tone that truly wasn't typical of her.

Courtney gasped and turned to her boyfriend. "Duncan! Are you hearing this? Aren't you gonna defend me?"

Duncan cracked one eye open -painfully-, and glared at Beth. "Dork. Shut it," he stated in his dangerous voice, one that could make stronger souls break out in cold sweat. "Don't make me go over there."

"You wouldn't hit a girl," Beth said in a surprised tone.

Duncan didn't miss a beat. "I wouldn't, but what's that have to do with you?"

Beth gasped and then frowned at him, but didn't say anything as she turned around and sat back on her seat.

Okay, maybe that had been a little harsh. But she had left herself right open for that one, and Duncan couldn't help himself.

His smirk disappeared as he looked at Courtney, who was wearing a pout, probably still beating herself up about the first challenge.

"Courtney," he called. He was getting used to refraining from pet names, even if it did feel awkward still. Before, calling her by her real name would have meant he was about to say something serious or important; now, you couldn't tell. Courtney had her attention turned on him. "Listen, the first challenge isn't that big a deal. It's always the last challenge that gives you invincibility, right?"

Courtney looked at him, processing his words, and then she started to smile and her face filled with sweetness. "Oh, Dunky, you're completely right," she said as she gave him a hug and laid her head on his shoulder. "You're so smart, honey." A gladly surprised Duncan automatically wrapped his arm around her shoulders.

She snuggled up to him, and Duncan suddenly thought that the only thing better than taking a long nap today would be taking a nap _with Courtney_. He kissed her temple before remembering the contract with a start, but he reassured himself thinking that he was allowed to kiss her cheek and her forehead, and the temple was just kind of a meeting point between the two.

She didn't scold him, so his theory must have been correct. Duncan breathed normally again.

Then something changed in his eyes, and he slipped his other hand to the back of her knee, attempting to pull her legs over his.

Courtney tensed her muscles, keeping her legs where they were. "Duncan," she hissed.

"No one's watching," he whispered in her ear before she could say anything, and began massaging her thigh with his thumb.

"There are _cameras_," she said angrily, trying to put distance between them. "There are always cameras."

"You said you'd be more flexible when we were in private," he said, looking at her straight in the eye.

"We're not in private. And anyhow, it _is_ in the contract, you know," she argued with the almighty tone she normally used to convince other people she was right. "And if we start transgressing it _now_…" he didn't wait until she finished to angrily remove his hand from her leg altogether, as well as the arm around her shoulders. He just couldn't stand her using that tone on him.

Courtney stayed motionless for a second, taken aback, before she realize there was no reason for her to be hugging him if he wasn't hugging her back, and sourly slipped her arms off his shoulders, folding her hands over her lap with an equally peeved expression.

Then a beeping sound was heard, and the brunette jumped. "Oh, that's right!" she produced her PDA from her back pocket. "I had a message from…-"

Unfortunately, in that moment the bus took a sharp turn, in which Beth screamed bloody murder and Duncan had to hang onto the seat with one hand and onto Courtney with the other, since she currently wasn't holding onto anything.

Everybody groaned once the bus stopped with a screech and a dangerously pronounced tilt.

"Hatchet!" Duncan roared. "Where the Hell you learn how to drive? Prison!"

"Don't get me started, kid!" the man growled, just as livid, as he started the vehicle again and moved forward a few feet at a calm pace. "I'd like to see _you_ try to drive right with this little man here giving you directions!"

"Alright, this is the place, cast! Get off the bus already!" Chris announced, passing over Chef's accusation, and exited the bus. "Here we are, gang. Don't you just _looove_ field trips?"

The three annoyed contestants slowly descended, carrying their pets with them. Courtney was the last one, struggling to get her shark in its tank off the bus.

"Stupid fish," she said between pants.

"Need help?" Beth asked, putting kindness over the sympathy –or lack thereof- she may have for the person she offered her help to.

"Got this," Courtney replied, pride lashing out by instinct, as she made it to the ground and glared at her pet. "I was _so_ close to getting into a fight with this thing," she said, adressing anyone who might be listening, which happened to be Beth. "It saved him that he got a bit of the routine at the end."

"You'd get in a fight with a shark?" the other girl asked.

"I'd win, too," Courtney stated.

Chris spoke up. "Your next challenge is to find your way back to the film lot. A ten-mile hike through this woods," at this words the teenagers seemed to deflate. Beth looked apprehensive and Duncan hunched more than he already was, cursing Chris for choosing the most tedious challenge on possibly his worst day since the competition started. At least back on the Dodgeball Challenge he had gotten _some_ sleep. "Using _only_ your animals buddies to guide you."

They three looked at their animals without much faith. Duncan briefly noted that this should be around the time Courtney would start protesting about how she could possibly benefit from a _shark_ in a _tank_. He looked over at her and saw she didn't look worried at all; she was standing straight with her arms crossed and expression calm, defiant even.

"But be careful," Chris went on. "Several life-threatening traps have been set up along the way."

Beth gasped. "Who would _do_ such a thing?" she asked, ever so naïve.

"Um, _me_?" Chris replied, pointing at himself. "First one back wins invincibility. Beth gets thirty minutes off the final time for winning the first challenge."

Beth beamed as Courtney gasped and looked about to protest. Duncan thought she was going to call him up for his slightly off-base prediction, but she just glared at Beth.

"Everyone ready? See you all back at the film lot and, _good luck_," Chris said, not looking like he meant those last words at all.

The bus took off as the three teens started at the woods around them. Beth shrugged and went towards the left. Duncan was about to take the right way, when he felt Courtney yank his arm torwards her.

"Aren't you forgetting something?" she asked, arms crossed, as Duncan looked at her with a puzzled expression.

_Please tell me this isn't about another rule in that stupid contract_, he thought. He was still ticked off at her for the little scene at the bus, that had pretty much destroyed what little hope he had harbored when he realized she planned to verily stick to that section of the contract.

However, that wasn't at all what Courtney was planning to tell him. "We don't need to walk around blindly," she said with a smirk. "Chris forgot he left me _this_ little asset," she held up her PDA. "_Hello_, GPS."

Duncan grinned wickedly. "Whoa-oh, nice!"

Courtney went to the Menu and looked for the GPS application, when she felt Duncan's presence looming over her shoulder and, anticipating him making a move on her, swiftly stepped aside. "No," she told him.

Duncan frowned. "I'm _just_ trying to watch the screen, Princess," he said in an annoyed tone.

"Oh," she said, and reassumed her previous position, letting him peer over her shoulder. Neither had noticed he had broken a rule just now.

Courtney clicked on the GPS icon, and a message appeared on the screen:

_GPS blocked_

Courtney gasped as Duncan frowned. "I think _Chris_ already thought of that," he said.

"How did he grab a hold of it?" she asked, staring at her phone in disbelief, as Duncan turned around to pick up his animal. She looked up at Duncan with worried eyes. "You think he went in my trailer?"

"You're always losing that thing," he stated as she scowled at him. "What? It's true!"

Her scowl got deeper. "Whatever!" she said. "Let's just go." She started pushing her shark's tank forward. Duncan stayed where he was, looking at her in puzzlement.

"Uh, where are you going?"

She turned her head. "Where do you think? To the film lot, naturally," she placed her hands on her hips.

"Film lot is that way," he said, pointing to his right.

"Um, no. It's _this_ way," she pointed ahead. "The bus turned around there, this is the right way," she explained as she approached Duncan.

"The bus turned like a million times! How could you possibly tell?" Duncan retaliated. "When Chris and Chef left on the bus, they went _that_ way," he said, pointing to his right. "_Why_ do you think that is?"

"To confuse us, maybe?" she pointed out. "Duncan, we're losing time. Let's just go this way," she insisted, trying to pull him.

"I've a better sense of direction than you," he said, staying put.

"But _I_ have a better memory," she replied, closing in on his face.

"Well I can last longer in the woods!" he threw in.

"What's that got to do with anything?" Courtney demanded, throwing her arms up in the air.

"It has to do," he said heatedly, "that if _I_ get lost, I've a better chance to survive than you, so _I_'ll take your wrong, messed up road," he pointed to his front, "and _you_ take my right one" he pointed at his right, and began to walk forward, chameleon on shoulder.

"Fine," Courtney called after him. "I'll take this road. Only to show you you're wrong," she began pushing her shark towards where Duncan had signalled. "See you at the film lot. Someday!" she called, talking louder as they got further apart.

"Courtney!" Duncan shouted.

"What!" she snapped, stopping as well.

"Good luck!" he said, cupping both hands around his mouth. It felt wrong to let her go without saying something.

Courtney looked at him through the trees that came in between them, at exactly the same distance as her from the point where they had separated. After a moment, she crossed the diagonal line that separated them, swung her arms around his shoulders, and laid a soft kiss on his lips, barely giving him time to return it before she pulled away.

"Good luck," she replied, trying to keep her tone steady even though it was laced with lust after the much-too-short kiss.

Duncan smiled in satisfaction as Courtney went back to her animal, and they both went on their own way.

* * *

Chapter 10 is either gonna be uber-long or short-ish because I divided it in two. In any case, it's already half-written :)

_ ~The Lighthouse_


	11. Courtney In The Forest

So I divided it in two chapters after all u.ú

Expect the next two or three chapters to be Top Dog too. I know, I know… five times longer than I anticipated this turned out to be, but eh, what can you do? :|

* * *

**~The Machine~**

**# ****Chapter 10:** Courtney In The Forest**#**

"Okay, this is your _last chance_, Shark," Courtney announced a couple of hours later. "Where should we go?"

The Shark didn't even bother with a response this time, floating in his tank with its fins behind its head in a fashion that reminded Courtney too much of Duncan- and therefore, made her angry. The fish soon found Courtney jabbing her finger at his glass.

"Don't be messing with me, I _know_ sharks have a great sense of direction," Courtney threatened, and sighed when her animal gave her an oblivious look. "Of course, that doesn't work when they're only in a _water tank_ in the middle of the _forest_," she muttered to herself, pressing her back to the tank and slowly sliding down.

"Can you _at least_ smell the food from back at the film lot?" she called up at the shark, and he shrugged. "You're right, as if we ever had any food at all. What was I thinking?"

Courtney sighed and stayed silent for a while. "Count to ten and get up," she told herself outloud.

The shark signalled something the brunette correctly interpreted as, _why don't we just stop and rest?_

"What? A rest!" Courtney snapped. "We can't _rest_! I'm not having that _Beth_ and her raccoon win again!" she exclaimed, and that thought was enough to make her get up and start pushing the tank again. "I will _die_ before she gets invincibility. Do you want the _raccoon_ to win?" she asked the shark, who just rolled its eyes in response. "Didn't think so."

"I bet Duncan already found the film lot," she said thoughtfully. Then she leaned closer to the Shark and said scathingly, "_His_ animal probably helped him."

* * *

In another part of the forest, Duncan was walking around, thoroughly pissed at his chameleon, at Chris and at himself. He was willing to bet Courtney was already back at the film lot. Maybe she was taking a nap…

Duncan shook his head, as if that would erase the bags under his eyes, as a terrifying thought invaded his head: _what if he took so long arriving to the lot, that he'd have to go until to the elimination Ceremony without a __**single**__ wink of sleep?_ Duncan willed himself not to think of the appalling prospect, and decided to take his frustration out on his chameleon.

"Oh, what a _useless_ animal," he said obnoxiously. "All you do is change colors. You don't even move or anything. How could you possibly get me back home?" he prodded, and then did a double take when he realized the little creature he had been talking to was no longer over his soulder.

"Hey- hey where'd you _go_? Hey get back here right now!" He started frantically looking around him, and then running in circles trying to find the reptile. Having a useless animal was better than being left alone in these woods—not that he was scared. He only would rather have company.

However, in the midst of his frenzy, he accidentally pulled a rope, activating a trap that sent a rock flying to his stomach, efectively knocking the wind out of him. "Right. Death traps," he wheezed out before collapsing.

Courtney stopped and panted, the strain of pushing a tank around the woods for the last few hours taking its toll. She looked accusatorily at her animal, "You know you could at least make this easy on me," she said in a weary voice, her protest falling on deaf ears.

Then she fell to the ground next to the tank. "Right. A rest."

Courtney looked around her, at the night that was already starting to close in, and shuddered when she felt a gust of wind. "If I can't get to the film lot first, I hope Duncan does. Then he can get invincibility we can both get rid of Beth," she commented distractedly, the issue of elimination already present in her mind.

Courtney noticed herself smiling as her mind flew back to Duncan, and unlike other times, she didn't stop herself. She was happy, and she felt entitled to her own happiness. She had already made sure he would never embarrass her in public again, or go behind her back with some other girl, and covered just about any other thing that could go wrong in a relationship. She could now relax and focus on having fun, feeling completely safe.

There was another reason she was feeling so cheerful- and that was the fact that she was enjoying a newly clear conscience. Ever since she had gotten back with Duncan she had been up in a cloud of happiness. …Wasn't that enough proof that she did feel something for him? That she really did love him, and her lack of a tearful reaction when she saw that video that night in the Aftermath, which she had before terribly interpreted as a lack of caring, was really just an expression of maturity?

To heck with her doubts. She was just emotionally maturing. That was it. Why hadn't she seen that before? It was just the maturity she had long waited for, just another aspect in which she was a little more perfect than she used to be.

She didn't know why she had arrived to such conclusions; it was hard to pinpoint now that she was so happy what had been going through her mind as she wrote that First Letter. In any case, she was enjoying the sensation of being able to breathe freely, without that useasy feeling constricting her chest.

Courtney started to stretch her arms and legs, which had started to feel considerably less like they were made of jelly, as she fantasized about the film lot, a shower, and a second full night's sleep. Maybe, she thought with a smile, she could even manage to fall asleep with Duncan again- without being too obvious about it.

"Okay, let's move it, Sharky," she announced, in a remarkably better mood than she had sat down in. She began pushing the tank again, smiling as she spontaneously started humming a tune.

Success, Love, and personal growth; what more could she ask for?

* * *

Courtney had been wandering in silence for only around fifteen minutes, when she noticed she was making considerably less effort to move the tank. In search of an explanation, she pulled away and saw the shark was moving its fins forward and in circles, making it easier for the tank to steer in that direction.

"Hey!" she said, gladly surprised. "You're actually making this easy on me!" she leaned closer to the glass. "What is it, boy? We're going the right way?" she asked, voice full of hope, tiredness forgotten. The shark didn't respond, only kept 'swimming' forward, as if its life depended on it. "Okay, then that's where we're going!" she reassumed her position on the back of the tank and started pushing again, with newfound strenght.

Courtney walked forward until she started finding difficulty to move once again. Pulling away, she saw the shark making a different movement, one that didn't benefit her anymore. She stopped pushing and watched as it repeatedly swam backwards and then forward again, over and over again in a desperate fashion.

Courtney stared at the animal's strange behaviour, wincing when its head hit the glass. "Hey," _clank!_ "What are you…?" _clank!_ "What are you _doing_?"

Before she got an answer, the shark hit the glass one last time, making the tank turn and all its contents spill—

…right into a river.

Courtney stared dumbfounded as the shark swam easily into the river and towards freedom, and gasped as three other sharks gathered around to welcome him back.

"You… you _traitor_!" she screeched. "I thought we were a _team_!" she waved her arms up in the air.

The fish turned around, as if noticing her there for the first time. Then it brought its fins up to his head and twisted the tips of them repeatedly, in a Shark adaptation of the universal mocking gesture. Courtney frowned.

"Oh, I see. Now you're with your little friends you're suddenly Mr. Brave, aren't ya?" she clasped her hands to her hips. "Well that's _it_! No more Nice Courtney! I've never been this indulgent to a creature that never got me any profit!"

She adjusted her sleeves folded over the elbow and balled her hands into fists. Her face was a fierce battle scowl and her mind was on the state in which she worked the best— with adrenaline pulsing through her veins.

_Prepare to meet your maker_, she thought, right before walking into the river to the three awaiting sharks.

* * *

Little after, Courtney floated in the water, soaked to the bone, her hair a wreck and she completely unaware of it. Her chest was heaving, but she was nowhere near finished, _oh no_. She fixed her blood-thirsty gaze on her last opponent, the last remaining shark.

"I took care of your _buddies_," she said between pants. "and now it's _your_ turn! Come on… bring it!"

The Shark bared its teeth, causing Courtney to gasp; between the teeth of the predator, was her precious PDA. Courtney immediately changed her demeanor from agressive to diplomatic.

"Okay look. Give that back… and I'll let you _eat_ one of the others. I can make it happen… Seriously," she assured. The fish ignored her and used its fin to dial a random number. "No long distance calls! My roaming is already through the roof!" Courtney exploded, and the animal only swam past her. "Get back here, you chumbag!" she growled and swam after him.

She had to device an effective plan to get back her PDA in one piece. All that shark had to do was close its mouth and it would be _bye-bye_ PDA. Which was a turn of events she could _not_ afford. She had to think of something, and fast.

Courtney began screaming as she realized she wasn't so much swimming as being carried by the current.

However, she entered in real panic when she saw the river divided in two branches ahead, and she got a bad feeling in the pit of her stomach. She was leaning more towards the left arm, while her PDA (and the shark around it) were leaning towards the right arm; upon relizing this, she desperately tried to swim closer to the shark, but the current kept her from doing so.

"Get back heeeeeeeeeeeereeee!" she yelled to the Shark, who looked oblivious to the cause of her sudden desperation. Despite her efforts, Courtney was forced to watch in horror as the shark went through one branch, and she was carried through the other.

"Nooooooooooooo…!" she shrieked in despair, extending a helpless hand to her PDA, as she watched how it disappeared from her sight.

Looking briefly ahead, she narrowly dodged a water rock and her mind was occupied by more important matters; where was this channel going? She had been so preocuppied getting her revenge on those sharks and chasing her PDA around that she hadn't paid enough attention to her circumstances. Now she didn't know where she was, or whether she would make it out of this rapids alive. Courtney felt a sense of despair overcome her as she fought to get to either shore.

_Where on Earth was she?_

**

* * *

**

**CarmillaD**: Me saco el sombrero ante usted. Tenías razón. Gwen y Courtney se hicieron amigas nomás xP

En serio che, se te cumplió el deseo jaja, espero que estés contenta :)… yoo me quiero pegar un tiro ¬¬

Que tu corazoncito no sufra... :( Estás llena de esperanza, me encanta, sos como una lucecita en la oscuridad (awww).

Me alegra que te gusten los filler! Y yo SABÍA que voss ibas a darte cuenta de la referencia a Paintball Deer Hunting! :D Ojalá te guste este capítulo.

**Nikki**: Thaaanks, that really warms my heart :) Hope you enjoy this chapter and the ones that'll follow.

**buddygirl1004**: Ooops! Forgot about that :O Thanks.

**TrueJackVP408**: Thank you! Enjoy the chappie! :)

_ ~The Lighthouse_


	12. Duncan In The Forest

Double update! Don't miss the previous chapter :)

* * *

**~The Machine~**

**# ****Chapter 11:** Duncan In The Forest** #**

A couple of hours had passed, and Duncan had managed to convince himself that the girls were already back at the film lot, and that he was the only one left out here. He probably was, too. And they were probably all taking a nap, Chris and Chef included… all together, clad in pajamas and sleeping hats, in matresses shaped like fluffly pink clouds that when you pressed a button posed up in the air while they played soothing music…

Duncan shook his head again, slightly alarmed. _What had he been thinking just now?_

Has he seriously been imagining a cliché ideal sleeping scene? Maybe he had momentarily fallen asleep while walking and hadn't realized it.

Duncan's apprehension grew; alone in the forest was not a good setting to be getting hallucinations.

He was beginning to regret ever trading roads with Courtney. Not that he wasn't glad that she was safe and sound in her trailer, but he deserved it more than her. Hey, _he_ was the tired one! She didn't even _look_ tired! …If that wasn't too selfish.

_Like she can talk about selfish_, was the thought that crossed his brain before he could filter it.

He shook his head again, but didn't contradict his thought. Courtney was selfish by nature. She sometimes tried to disguise it to be more agreeable to others, but when it came down to it, she was a selfish person. He knew that, and he didn't mind it. It was just part of who she was, and he wouldn't change a thing about her.

Not because he thought she was perfect already or anything like that, but because, strangely enough, he knew that if he tried to change things about her, if he tried taking away her _flaws_, she would no longer be the girl he loved.

No, he wouldn't change her if he could.

_Not like she was trying to change him._

The thought made him stop dead in his tracks, a scowl consuming his features. He suddenly felt the urge to kick something. He turned to a nearby tree and delivered a front kick to the trunk, letting out a growl and not feeling at all relieved afterwards.

It was true; that he couldn't deny. But the thought bothered him more than he thought it should have. Why did it rile him up so much, so bad that he had to take it out on a tree?

Duncan tried hard not to think about it… but he couldn't repress the feeling of _wrong_ that overcame him every time he thought of him and Courtney.

What was wrong with him? He had _just_ gotten the girl he wanted… why wasn't he leaping in joy (inwardly, of course) like he thought he would be?

Duncan ran a hand through his face, in an effort to clear it from drowsiness, and attempted to answer himself.

Their relationship… just wasn't the same anymore. Courtney wasn't like he remembered.

Everytime she taked to him, he felt like he was like a toy to her. Whenever they were together he felt like he was trapped on a box so little that he could barely breath. And more than just not being able to touch her without previous notice, he hated what it represented; he hated that she would not let her guard down around him.

Duncan just couldn't lie to himself any longer. His relationship with Courtney was as messed up as this enormous forest he was currently lost into.

The punk teenager leaned against a tree, it just dawning on him that he had been in denial all this time. He had really thought that things would just magically fix themselves up once they were back together.

The real question was, now that he knew this, what was he going to do about it?

…Break things off with her?

He cringed.

After going through so much _crap_ to get her back? After so severely humilliating himself in national TV? (because Duncan knew, even though he hadn't been completly awake to realize it, or remotely willing to accept it, he _knew_ he must have been embarrassing himself.)

Duncan rubbed his eyes firecely and separated from the tree to avoid falling asleep leaning on it. He had to keep moving, otherwise he would fall asleep in the middle of this forest, and risk getting eaten by wild animals imported from places they were actually natural of.

Night was closing in now –unless that was just another sleep-deprived hallucination. Darkness made him think of sleep, of a comfy pillow and a warm matress and the common miracle that was _sleep_.

He suddenly remembered his lost animal buddy and, out of desperation, he called out to it. "Look. I'm _sorry_, alright?" he said, regarding the forest in general, as if the chameleon was an omniscient presence just lurking around until Duncan decided to properly apologize. "Just show yourself so I can get back to the lot and get some _sleep_." _Sleep. Ooh, precious __**precious**__ sleep_. "You're my only hope!" He finished dramatically.

As Duncan waited for a response, he didn't even notice when he walked by a concealed pitfall, narrowly avoiding it. He got no answer from his animal, but at least talking outloud had helped him feel a little more awake, though it would have been more efective if he had gotten an answer— how could he know for sure he had spoken outloud at all?

The thought alone made him feel dizzy. For Pete's sake, he wasn't _that_ sleep-deprived! He had dozed off _minutes_ after Courtney had snuggled up to him, and _she_ looked perfectly fine.

In that moment, Duncan got a strange feeling of detachment from his body and a higher level of conciousness, as it ocurred to him that maybe his thoughts from before were just him seeing things dark because of his physical and mental tiredness.

Maybe he simply wasn't thinking straight, and all his feelings were false. Maybe everything _was_ fine between him and Courtney. Maybe, once Court had grown accustomed to him again, once he had won her trust back, _then_ she would revert to her old self.

Except…

Was he pursuing a hopeless task? Was he yearning for something that didn't exist?

Duncan groaned painfully and grabbed his head, as if the thoughts were causing physical pain in his brain. Thoughts were just running back and forth through his head, faster than he could control them. He wasn't stupid, he knew that what he should do was to stop thinking things over, and wait until he had slept some –or at least gotten out of these _freakin' woods_-, but his brain just wouldn't _shut up_. It kept kept lashing out in different directions, producing thoughts that bumped into one another and contradicted each other at a vertiginous speed, and it freaked him out because he couldn't shut his _own mind_.

His pocket knife was firm in his grip before he realized he had pulled it out, his instincts ready to defend him against a possible enemy, failing to identify that the current enemy was himself.

Courtney may never turn back into the girl he loved. The thought drove him crazy, more than his logic considered it should have. He saw the whole forest swivel around him, and found it hard to keep his footing.

He finally found his unsuspecting enemy in a tree, clawing his knife deep into the bark as the scenery became still again. He breathed heavily as he regained a small sense of clarity from the violent action. It only stayed with him for a while and, to his desperation, washed off shortly after. One distinct thought stayed with him.

He needed _people_.

He needed to see a familiar face, someone to hold him down and speak to him, give him back a sense of normalcy. He didn't want to be alone with his thoughts anymore. He would have given anything to see Gwen or Geoff right now. But he would even take Beth, Owen, even Chris or _Chef_ at this point.

Paradogically (or not), the one person he did _not_ want to see was Courtney.

He didn't even want his idealized version of her to speak soothing words and caress his face, because her presence –even his utopian envisage of her presence-, would bring forth issues he didn't want to deal with right now.

Duncan pulled on the knife to get it out of the tree, hoping that no camera had caught his little outburst, and suddenly realized he could hear water running. He looked around and found a small waterfall that fell on a tranquil lake. He instantly headed for it, his mind deciding that splashing some water on his face would help him wake up, and hopefully distract him.

A single lone shark was swimming in the lake, looking strangely battered and heavy in its demeanor, as if it had just gone through a long journey. Duncan ignored it as he fell on his knees and started splashing water on his face, rubbing his eyes furiously from time to time.

He stayed like that for a while, before he opened his eyes and looked down, immediately focusing his disbelieving gaze on something that didn't fit with the setting.

Washed up on the shore, was Courtney's PDA.

His first reaction was to get up and whip his head around, to see if Courtney herself was near. But the only living form in sight was the shark, and he didn't hear the brunette's easily identifiable voice anywhere.

He looked down at the phone again and then did a double take, as if seeing the device on a new light.

More than the fresh water on his face, it was the sudden realization that got him awake in a second. A rush of adrenaline shot through his body, feeling his worries leave his mind for a second, giving place to a long-awaited clarity of thought.

He grabbed the device and felt himself smiling.

Yes. Suddenly, he knew exactly what to do.

* * *

Cliffie. Mwahahahaha!

Question,

Did anything make sense to you?

Thank you.

_ ~The Lighthouse_


End file.
